Since I have been home I've had this feeling that I can't explain. But I think God helped me figure it out this morning.
Last week during lunch one day, one of our guys was talking about how he loves deep conversations. My first reaction was 'Boy, you're crazy'. (I didn't say that out loud.)
I hate deep conversations, because they make me so uncomfortable.
Here's what I learned from that:
I was scared of having deep conversations because that means you have to be open to people who might hurt you in the end.
I also learned that if you don't have deep conversations you never get to know anybody. A friendship has no chance of surviving on shallow conversations.
Until 'That One Night' (in my last blog) at camp I wanted nothing to do with depth or intimacy. Thank goodness God changed the way I view things. My whole world was rocked to the core that night. He opened my eyes to see that the way I was looking at everything was way off compared to the way he sees things. Depth and Intimacy have to be in the picture or the relationship will crumble.
So even though deep conversations make me so uncomfortable. I must be uncomfortable if I want a deeper relationship with Christ.
And I want deeper.
Please pray that I become more uncomfortable so God can use me as he wants.
