My Story: In 2010, I stepped foot inside a church for the very first time, thanks to an invitation from a friend’s mom. When I was at the church, they held a welcoming brunch for new comers and a few people shared about their story of how they came to know Jesus Christ and how He had changed their life. From them for the first time ever I heard about God and heard the name of Jesus. Growing up I experienced a lot of abuse, loneliness, neglection and I felt lost, out of place, unloved and unwanted. What all of them had in common in their story was the love of God. I heard that God wanted to have a personal relationship with me through His Son Jesus, the Chosen One, and that He cared and loved me so much despite my imperfections, when I heard that it immediately grabbed me. The week after I prayed accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior and I asked Him to change my life.
[Forward to 2011, I left many things out so it might not make much sense]
I was going through a difficult time. I had many emotions and past hurts bottled up inside of me and that caused me to struggle with depression, self abuse, and thoughts of suicide. My mind was consumed with negative thoughts, I didn’t think I should be alive and I felt I had no purpose in living. I constantly thought of how great it would be to no longer be here and just end all of this pain now. In my head I thought about am I suppose to be here? Am I even suppose to exist? I’m not worthy of love. No one cared about me. They wouldn’t care if I was gone. I was just taking up space in this world. I felt like everything I was doing in my life was meaningless. So on the night of 24 September 2011, I was brought to my lowest and couldn’t take life anymore. I was weak and helpless, I was home alone and I was about to end my life. I was crying and all I could say for my last words was “Help me! Someone please help me!” Then immediately I felt God’s presence and I felt His hand on me, stopping me from what I was about to do to myself. He told me that He will not let me leave this world defeated! He told me to trust Him. So all I could do after that was get down on my knees and pray, thanking Him for saving my life. I realized how broken I was and how much I needed Him. For the first time I experienced His true love and I surrendered myself to Him. I told God that I commit my life to Him. I will live for Him and serve Him. On 06 November 2011, I made a public declaration of faith and got baptized.
My Heart: The Spirit of God radically changed my life these past three, four years. Each day I crave for more of His Spirit to lead me, teach me, and give me His passions. I really desire to know my Savior more and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. I desire to follow Him and be a true disciple of Christ. I am really thankful for His written Word that He has given me, I strive every day to read more and memorize more. I think a lot about my brothers and sisters around the world who some don’t have the Bible or have pieces of it. (Spirit, please let me, us, not take that for granted. I pray for the brothers and sisters that they will receive the written Word where they are and that we would work as a team to reach the unreached.) I really desire to be a father to the fatherless and be a male figure in a child’s life. I know how difficult it is to not have that. I cannot express how much children mean to me and how painfully it hurts me to see the pain they’re feeling inside. What’s important to me is to be there for them, offering my time to them, and love on each of them with the Father’s abundant love the best I can, I know I can’t love them all on my own. This past year, I finally believe that our Heavenly Father is not a reflection of our earthly father, He is the perfection of him. I really desire to grow in the area of prayer and hear the Holy Spirit speak, that is what I would like to focus on more in this new journey ahead. I am thankful for the servant heart the King has given me and I pray that I continue to have an open and teachable heart and serve Him faithfully. I cherish what King David said to his son Solomon in First Chronicles 28:9, “To you, my son Solomon, maintain a relationship with the God of your father and serve Him with a complete heart in all your thoughts and actions. The Eternal [God] searches all hearts for their desires and understands the intentions of every thought. If you search for Him as He searches you, then He will let you find Him. But if you abandon Him, then He will reject you forever.” (VOICE)
[You will definitely hear more of my heart]
Everlasting Father, You are the Giver of life and second chances. I thank You for giving me a second chance to relive my life, not for myself but for You. Thank You for choosing me and adopting me into Your family. Thank You for the opportunity to share my story and my heart with people. May those who are reading be encouraged and know that they are loved by You. You are writing each of our stories and You are not finished with us yet. Spirit of God, please come and invade each soul right now. Honor and glory to You, my King. Amen.
