It was well passed midnight, and the roof was rough on my legs as I sat dangling them over the edge of our five story hotel. The moon brightly lit the sky and we were on the highest vantage point of the small Malaysian Island. Daniel and I sat there in silence for a few seconds. We had spent the last hour of my birthday talking about this past year, where God had brought us and where He is taking us! We rambled, we encouraged, we laughed, we pondered, we praised! I realized there in that moment that this WAS NOT THE END. In fact, as I let that reality sink further into my heart. I realized this was not the journey, this was the preparation.
Here I was, metaphorically on the edge. Dangling my feet over this sheer drop off looking out over the beauty of God’s creation, and please don’t judge me for this sappy sentiment, but I knew then and there I had two options. I could Jump and fall and let this Race have been a high point in my life that cast a shadow over my next season. OR I could jump and fly…I could let the Lord lift me to higher heights even to the Heavens if He chooses. but regardless I was going to have to jump. because this was the end.
So I stood up, spread my arms like they do in cartoons, and leaned over the edge. I took in one long breath and closed my eyes. And then Daniel looked at me like I was crazy! Haha, okay the truth is at that in that moment I metaphorically did those things, and though the jump wasn’t physical it was just as heart pounding. I decided to talk to Daniel about what I was feeling called to after the race. I told him about my passion for Adventures In Missions. I told him how for the first time in years I felt like God might not be calling me to be single forever, I told him the secrets I had kept locked up.
It wasn’t until two days later as I faced the last day of the World Race I realized something had happened that night on the roof that will inevitably change my life. I realized that secrets are meant to be shared! Silence only allows in Satan. And no dream worth dreaming should be kept silent.
After all, life is about a story, and no one will remember your secrets, they’ll remember your story! So here are some of the post-secrets that my squad decided not to stay silent about.
“Truth stands the test of time, lies are soon exposed.” Proverbs 12:19
These are our secrets, our stories.
“We Skinny-Dipped…twice”
“You know me better than my family does”
“I’m scared that I won’t be as different as I went on the race to become”
“I’m called to you”
“We pooped in our tents”
” We blew up a semi truck”
“I was the reason for all the Kwatcha”
“I think God doesn’t want to heal me, because I need Him more when I’m sick”
“I’m worried I’ll never smell good again (because I don’t want to)”
“I want to go back out on the mission field but I don’t trust the Lord enough to tell anyone”
“I didn’t tell you then the hard truth that would have changed you for the better; so I blame myself for your mistakes”
“The first time I have ever genuinely felt loved was by a little orphan girl in Thailand”
This is the smallest glimpse into the secrets we kept, the secrets in the body of Christ.
And it’s only polite to reciprocate! So what are yours? What are you scared to say? What are you letting Satan keep you silent with? I challenge you today to let it out, to let in light, and to be bold with what you’re dreaming!
“God…is able to do far more than we would dare to ask or even dream of— infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hopes.” Eph. 3:20
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my blog this year! Your love, support, and prayers have meant the world to me!
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