Something cool that God gave me after the first month of this Race was the focusing tool of "themes." As a month comes to an end, me and God spend some time talking and discussing what happened, how I grew, what I need to learn, how I can put this or that into practice, etc. Out of this conversation comes a theme that will carry me through the next month. It's been really amazing (though incredibly hard at times) and has pushed me. Each month's theme then carries on. Just because one month is over doesn't mean I toss out the lessons learned. It's not just a task to complete, but rather building blocks for my life. Here's a look at the journey I've been on so far-
Month 1: Dominican Republic — ???
First month on The Race; God hadn't shown me the theme thing yet.
Month 2: Ecuador — Yes & Sweat
God challenged me to let all those things I find myself saying "no, I don't do that", "no, that's just not me/my thing", "Black/fat/urban people do not/are not ____" etc. go and instead to respond "yes." I was to try new things, be a new person, step out of the box, let go of how I have always identified myself… Also, living in Ecuador's hot sticky jungle region simply meant sweat was part of our lives. Sooo the team decided if we're gonna sweat we might as well make it count. So I played soccer, ran around with kids, power walked to/from church, etc. It was pretty dope and actually lead into the theme for the following month.
Month 3: Peru — Everyday Active
I didn't come on this race with many expectations- only 2. First, to know what my next step is after The Race and second to truly begin treating my body as God's temple. This meant taking care of my physical, mental, emotional and most definitely spiritual self. So this month I heard God telling me to begin living an active lifestyle and to really focus on my physical health. Any exercise regimen gets old and eventually you'll miss a few days or stop altogether. God showed me how to make my day one that takes care of my body. He reminded me of how I had just included healthy living in my daily doings last month. Here in Peru, it was actually quite easy because we were field hands 6hrs a day making bricks! O_o It was hot, long, intense HARD work (it was also crazy fun!). I drank a LOT of water. We also were able to grocery shop and cook for ourselves so my diet was really good.
Month 4: Nicaragua — Habit Formation
It's always pretty easy for me to start something new, try something out, give it a whirl…but dedication/discipline/habits were not my strength. This month God challenged me HARDCORE. He was not playing! I was told to wake up early (for real early;we're talking 6am- if you know me you KNOW this ain't me) and do two things- exercise and spend time in the Word. WHOA! Get up early, workout and then read the Bible??? Ugh! Y'll may not know it, but me and the Bible were not the best of pals. I always looked at it like this: If I had the chance to read someone's biography OR talk to them face-to-face why would I choose just the book?! My previous team leader had even tried to get me to spend more time in God's Word and I shirked her off explaining that "I talk to Him alllll the time and our relationship is tight; what's the big deal about reading?" It's weird to because I LOOOOVE to read- just never in the Christian genre. Also, I felt like it's just completing task; doing a work. Most of the time I didn't even get anything out of reading the Bible besides being able to say I did it. Thankfully, a teammate joined me in this and I woke up EVERY morning, worked out and read the Bible. You know what- I've fallen in love with God's Word! It's so powerful. I realized it isn't an "or", but rather an "and." It's Spirit AND Truth. The Bible is dynamic, active and living. I was missing out on SO much by not diving in and exploring. What went from fullfilling a promise turned into a true hunger. Now, if I don't read my Bible for a few days I'm pheening for it and must make some quiet time to eat. I'm actually in the process of reading the whole thing. I take notes. I pull out key themes. I'm all up in the Word! Also, I'm starting to naturally wake up way earlier than ever before. I won't go as far as to call myself a full-blown morning person, but I'd say I'm definitely a fan of early mornings.
Month 5: El Salvador — RUN
Yep, you read that right. Overweight, out-of-shape, bad knees, no-sports-bra-owning, no-sneakers-having…me has to run! Not metaphorically (hahaha I tried to see if that's what He meant), but actual literal foot-to-ground-and-push running. Ummmmm….k!???? At this point though, I knew God has worked amazing things through these themes. So I'm down. I trust Him. I put my knees and back and everything in His hands. I talk to a squadmate who was a personal trainer about safely approaching this. God puts us with a team who has a girl that would like to get back into running as a member. He even puts us down the street from a track. Sooooo I ran. 4 days a week early morning I ran. First it was jogging the straights and walking the curves. Then I got up to one lap. Then I got up to 3 laps. One morning, towards the end of the month, my partner's shin splints started to hurt her and my knee gave out. We couldn't run after that. So the last week in El Sal I didn't exercise, but somehow it didn't feel like a failure. It was an incredible trust exercise with Him. To even say to people that I was going to run was huge. Then to do it and keep doing it- WHOA! To have the physical ability to almost run a mile after 2 weeks of training. All of it just spoke heaps to me. It made me want to jump off more cliffs with/in God!
Month 6: Thailand — whomp!
Ummmm…I didn't take the time to really seek God and hear His plans for Thailand. I walked into this month unprepared, unfocused and unaware. It showed. I got so caught up with getting my mind/Spirit right for the type of ministry we were to do (ministering to prostitutes in the red light district) so that I wouldn't fall prey to old issues that I forgot to let God lead me further into who He's making me. The cool thing is I realized that I am not her anymore. I don't have those issues and I don't struggle with those thoughts. Now, I simply have to walk into the newness of me. The me that God has been shaping and molding. I got past-focused instead of present-living, but I learned a good lesson. It ended up being an okay month, but it could have been so much more. The highlight- doing some basic ballet training with a Real Lifer who lived in the house with us! 😀
Month 7: Kenya — Quality Time
I can be quite a loner. As extroverted as everyone assumes I am, I'm actually more of a social-introvert. I can and do enjoy conversing with strangers. I can share my heart without hesitation. I can laugh, cry, argue…with anyone. However, where I'm most comfortable, how I get refreshed, where I go to feel safe…is me/me & God. I thoroughly enjoy spending time by myself. I knew from jump coming on this Race that I would have to push myself to really form bonds with people. Kenya was all about pushing past the awkward/unnatural and having conversations, sharing space, taking it "there." I have never in life intentionally developed a relationship/made a friend. It just happens– we go to school together, join a sorority, play a sport… In opening myself up to that, God did incredible things with me spiritually and door-to-door evangelism was riiiidiculously amazing this month. God is relational. He created us for relationship. He uses our earthly relationships to teach us, support us, grow us… This is a lesson I continue to learn.
Month 8: Uganda — Relationship Building
hahaha okay God you're funny. So You still want me to focus on that, huh? Okay! What's it supposed to look like this month? This month I spent very little time in my room/by myself/hiding out… I spent so much time with the kids, teens and even some adults. I stopped when walking down the street and had real conversations with people. Instead of the quick "hello, how are you? I'm fine…" I sat down and asked people about their lives. I played Ugandan dodge ball with the youth in our hut village. I talked with a neighbor as she cooked dinner and accepted the invitation to come into another neighbor's house for a visit. I went to the teenage boys' soccer matches and stayed at the office late into the night talking with them. Basically, whenever I would have begged-off and given an excuse on why I couldn't, I just did it instead. I intentionally spent time with people and it was amazing. Yes, sometimes the conversation went nowhere (esp with language/accent issues) or there were awkward moments, but that's okay. It's about the position of your heart. God's pretty dope in that teaching me this lesson with strangers made me feel even more convicted on how I interact with my brother/sister Racers. So I went into debrief (the big all-squad + stateside leadership meetings we have at the end of every few months) ready to be more intentional with my squadmates, to push past the awkward, to have one-on-ones…and I did. And it was great. And I'm still learning about this whole relational thing. God's REALLY trying show me something in this.
Month 9: Tanzania — Praise/Celebrate Me & ATL Lifestyle
This brings us to the present. Here we are, 9 months in with only 2 to go after Tanzania. I've learned SO much, I've let a lot go, I've grown, been challenged, pushed…where does God want to take me now? That's the question I posed to Him at debrief. He told me two things very clearly. He wants to begin developing a way of living in me. Not just changes and growths, but a whole new lifestyle. I've been challenged to praise & celebrate Him everyday. At first I was like wait, I do that. However, He wants more/new/fresh/deeper/crazier/alternative. Yes, I pray/talk to God throughout the day. I thank Him randomly and sporadically throughout the day. I sing praise & worship songs and random times. That's cool. That's just the tip of the iceberg though. Our spirits are hype for God. They want to honor Him in all sorts of new & exciting crazy ways! God said my challenge is to step back and let my Spirit minister to Him however/whenever. That P&W doesn't have to look like anything except what it's supposed to- glorifying our incomprehensibly good God! So yep.
The second is living life as an ATL moment (click for a blog about ATL). I've been asking God for more of His spirit. That I want to see/walk/hear…with spiritual eyes/feet/ears… I want to enter a room and speak directly into this person's life, know exactly where this other person is hurting & pray healing and answer that question that's been tugging at so and so's heart. I want to do all this s a means of revealing the insanely deep love of the Father to them. He said to me, "if you want it; take it." God's Spirit is always speaking. We need to listen and not just when the activity of the day is ATL. So this month I'll be waking up, taking time to seek God's plan for my day, writing it down and then following it. I can't wait to see what He's got in store! Today He said loud n' clear that I need to blog. That I've been tripping and there is stuff for me to say/share and that now is the time to get it together. So get ready for catchup/blog overload!
Month 10: ATL — ???
Month 11: Cambodia — ???
