Men: you are welcome to read these blogs… but be forewarned that they will be geared toward all the ladies out there. You could probably still a learn something from them, but they aren’t necessarily being written with you in mind, at least not as the audience. As for all you Ladies: these “Distinguished” blogs are just for you J I hope that you enjoy and are as blessed by them as I have been getting to learn all they contain.
In 2009 and 2010 I got the immense pleasure of living in San Diego, California, serving with Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru) on a trip called Summer Project. Those summers were used by the Lord to change my life in really radical ways and set me on course to be exactly where I am right now. That first summer Jesus showed me, in new ways, just how real He is and just how active the Holy Spirit is in the lives of believers. The second summer I was broken from my flesh in new ways, as I was taught what it looked like to walk by faith and not by emotions or self-confidence… I was taught more of what it looked like to really worship with my life that summer. Some of my sweetest memories are caught up in those months; I will always smile when I think about that place and all the people that helped fill my time there. …Gosh, they were just some flippin’ amazing summers.
One of the things that I got to experience those summers was our women’s time, led by the one and only Holly Allan (she’s for sure an excellent woman of the Lord whom I am utterly grateful for). During our women’s times with her, she took us through a study she had put together, called “Distinguished”. It’s all about what it means to be a “distinguished woman of the Lord”. Through out it we study Proverbs 31: 10-30 and learn about women in the Bible who exemplify the things that describe the woman of Proverbs 31. In 2009 this study flip turned upside down my ideas of what it meant for me, as a woman, to be a follower of Jesus. Since I am currently on an all women’s team we decided that it would be such a wonderful idea to go through this study together over the next couple months, and as we do I want to share it with all of you back home. (Also if anyone would like a copy of the actual study, hit me up and I’ll pass it your way)
Every week we begin our time with reading through Proverbs 31. [you should give it a gander right about now too]. And then we talk about the things that distinguish that women and should distinguish us as women of the Lord.
So first things, first: The woman of proverbs 31 is distinguished because she is a woman, and so are we. Makes sense right, we are clearly different than men, and so we are set a part in that way. The second thing is that she fears the Lord. This second thing is actually what gets broken down the rest of the time as we look at what in the world “fearing the Lord” really means for us as women. But in order to really break that down we first need to get a right idea of what the Lord meant for us to be like as women. For this we need to flash all the way back to that lovely day in the Garden of Eden when our first ever lady was created. [genesis 2]
A key moment found in that chapter is in verso 20, “But for Adam no suitable helper was found”. Henceforth woman was created. Out of that little bit of scripture we get a big bit of our specific purpose, that of being a helper. A lot of times this can be misconstrued and even taught as meaning that we are weaker and inferior to men, but I’d like us all to know that that is a bunch of hogwash. You don’t get help from someone who can’t help you, and you don’t need help if you can do something on your own. I know that in another verse in the bible it literally calls us the weaker sex and I am not going to disregard that, I believe it to be true in many ways. We need dudes to protect us and to look after us in ways that we can’t do on our own… that’s what that passage of scripture is talking about and I see the truth of it more and more as I travel abroad. A lot of our day to day things, such as travelling around town, are typically easier when we have a guy with us and I wouldn’t go out after dark here if there wasn’t a guy who was going to be with us. We need male protection. BUT when it says that we are the weaker sex I do not believe it to mean that we are holistically inferior. Just as there are some things that we easier for us when men are with us, there is a whole gamut of things that they need our help with and we were created with the purpose of being that helper to them.
Here’ the things though, us ladies we tend to struggle with being bossy, eh, and domineering, desiring control, wanting to prove our independence and the likes. To get an idea of why that could be we need to take another look in genesis, chapter 3 this time. The infamous fall of man. The general breakdown of the story is as such: God told Adam don’t eat of this tree, then He made him a lady friend and Adam was responsible for passing the command on, which he did, later Adam and Eve are in the garden near the tree and the serpent starts talking to Eve in course of discussion she decides to eat of the tree and instead of consulting Adam decides to do it and then he decides to follow her in action by also eating some. Eve clearly usurped Adam’s leadership, but that’s not the only problem, Adam then passively followed her. Later when God finds out what has happened and the smack down of consequences is given woman is given this precarious consequence of having her “desire be for [her] husband, and he will rule over [her]” The study explains that by comparing it to another place in the scripture where the Lord gives people over to their desires [romans 1]. Here we see women being given over to our desire for men, which in many of us can be a desire to control or manipulate men instead of helping them be all that they are called to be through Christ.
Since that moment it's been a part of our nature to struggle with just that, but it is deeply a part of our sin nature and not the heavenly one which the Lord desires to restore back to us. In Him we were created not to control, manipulate or tear down but we were created to be helpers that lift not only men but all around us up. It is a place of strength and power but it is also a place of sincere humility. If you look through out the scriptures people are constantly calling out for help from the Lord and His Spirit; He is called our great Helper. To be a helper is not weakness, it is walking into godliness. One of the ways that we can help men is by being submissive. I know that, that is not a word that we generally like or take well too.. but I'm praying that, that will change for us as we get a right idea of what that looks like.
Being submissive is willing to follow instead of lead, even when you think you'd do a better job maybe. I had to learn this the hard way multiple times in my life, and each time it's left me a better person at the end of it. As helpers we do not primarily help others "do" what they need to, but we help them "be". When we always try to help men and others "do" what they are supposed to, we are actually stepping their toes and encouraging a feeling of incapability in them. But when we start helping men and others "be" who they are supposed to, we encourage a spirit of empowerment and strength in them by reminding them of the truths that God says about them. Being submissive means being willing to get underneath someone so that they may stand taller. (I realize that's cheesy, as is probably a lot of this, but it doesn't make it any less true or practical).
In the studies to come we will breakdown the different ways that we are distinguished by our fear of the Lord and through that the different ways that we live out our role as helpers. I'm pumped for it, I hope you are too.
