It always seems as if during the hardest and most stressful times of my life, God rips away whoever or whatever I’m turning to for comfort. It’s funny though, as I just prayed on Sunday for God to take control in all areas – taking my own will from my mind.
The thing is, is that I’m not always ready for what I pray for. I like the idea of allowing God to be in charge, but I still want to make my own decisions and have my life play out like I’ve planned for it to.
Fortunately, it doesn’t happen that way.
Jeremiah 29:11 says “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
And I’m confident that He’s going to do just that – I cannot imagine the future he has for me, but I know that it’s not going to take place in a desperate and dependent state of life I’m living in right now.
So, I’m handing over my will to Him and letting Him take the controls. He will take the personal and materialistic idols I place before Him and rid of them for good or until I am able to place them behind the most important people and things in my life.
He will wreck my heart by ending relationships and friendships, by opening my eyes to what I’ve tried to be blinded to, by showing me that others are hurting more than I am and by loving me through it all while I am so undeserving.
I have such a strong desire to live a life that glorifies Him, yet I’ve made conscience decisions that go against all that I know – I’m done with that. I’m trusting God to give me the strength to say no when I know it’s sinful and know it causes a barrier in my relationship with Him.
Of course, mistakes will continue to happen and the devil will tempt me more now than ever, but prayer is a powerful thing. And when I take a step towards God, He will wrap His arms around me and guide me down the path that is in HIS plan for me.
I may hurt now, but I know that His love will heal my wounds and prepare me for what’s in my future – my mission trip to Kusi, Peru, the World Race and the countless amount of friendships I will make along the way.
It is my mission to love – but who can love without knowing the feeling that comes after losing it?
Thank you Jesus for your provision, even if it doesn’t include what I want right now, I know it will lead me to what I want down the road.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” –Romans 8:28
