Yay for Training Camp,
one of the hardest and best weeks of my life thus far!
Organizing my thoughts on what to write was almost harder than camp,
so I just decided to type at random until I think I've made sense. 😀
This past week I learned abandonment…
from comforts. From having my way, my things, and my time.
It was so good to learn to worship through brokenness and giving up, thus welcoming full dependance.
God is always trying to rid me of 'fear of man'….basically, fearing what others think of me.
Sounds silly, but it is something I'll always be learning to give up.
When I was younger I always wanted to 'fit in', never learning to be happy with the person God made me to be.
This affected everything I learned at camp!
Worship isn't always in the form of a song.
I'm learning to seek God in way that is real for me, not everyone else around me.
I always tried to hear God through dancing, singing and praising because this seemed to work for everyone around me. While I love to sing and dance with community, I finally heard a whisper from God and it wasn't what I expected…
He said: "Daughter, you find me when you are quiet. I have a still, small voice that you hear best when you are alone and can focus. Stop trying to hear my voice any other way! I love you."
So I left worship and sat outside in the woods, where God and I had a great talk.
He was so much louder there in the silence.
I was refreshed, breathing in everyone's beautiful praise back in the pavilion.
It was thrilling to see God speaking to their hearts in their own special way.
Learn to stay true to the way you hear God best and to pursue that to the fullest.
Some of the other things God showed me through the everyday parts of camp:
-We didn't have much of a set schedule…at all. This taught me dependance on one source of information and to be aware, listening to my teammates. It prevented any form of independence. It also reminded me that we don't have room to make our own plans in life. God knows what's coming up and what's best, we just have to wait for instruction.
-We lost some luggage…teaching us to share, accept help, and depend on one another.
-Our food, sleep, space and time were often decided for us at camp…helping me realize how I have so many preconceived expectations in life, but God only gives us what we need, when we need it,
and that is always BEST.
I'm still taken back at what God started to do when we all said "YES" to this journey.
I don't think I'm prepared to handle how He is going to change me,
but that means I get to practice dependance every step of the process.
I don't think I'd have it any other way.
He who began the good work within you will continue His work until it is finally finished on the
day when Christ Jesus returns.
( the process of change will never be complete in this life! )
