I have 5 Brothers. (or maybe more!)
4.27.12
(ok this is when I wrote it, you caught me!!)
Coming on the World Race, I remember back at training camp. I remember being asked questions about what I envisioned for my team; all girls, some guys…at the time I thought I knew what I needed. I remember saying being on an all girls team might be too much drama for me to handle…sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t said that if an all girls team would have been good for me. Ultimately, I could analyze all I wanted but God know’s just what I need when I need it, no matter what I say or what I think I need.
When it came time to announce teams, I found out I was on a team with 3 girls and 3 guys. By the time the WR started in August one of the girls and it dropped to 2 other girls, and 3 guys. Growing up with two sisters younger than me; this was familiar to have two sisters. However, I didn’t have two sisters that knew what it was like to have an older brother growing up. I have 2 younger half brothers whom I love lots but because they are younger and I was already out of the house as they were growing older I truly never knew what it was like to have a brother, especially an older one.
In my teenage years, I had a few guy friends here and there but I think usually they got the wrong idea and a few of them along the way ended up being more than friends. So for me, being friends with a guy was nearly impossible. In my mind they always wanted more and it was just impossible to be just friends with them. However, before the World Race, and around the time I got baptized last year, I did make a few Christian guy friends. They were friends and this was a good preparation for living with guys my age.
Living in community with brothers at first for me was still very challenging. Learning how to calmly talk and give feedback to them without tears or a frustrated tone was a progression for me. There were moments for me where I had set my expectations way too high. Thinking these are “men of God” and they are going to teach me so much about what it means to know what a man of God looks like. While this is very true in some ways; I realized they aren’t perfect. Just like me, a not so perfect woman of God, they had and have faults too. I expected them to lead the way in all things when sometimes I am called to lead as Christ too. If you are following Christ & serving him, you are a leader. People look to you as an example and God even says in scripture about others looking to our example. In genesis, God created man & woman in his image. Therefore just as they are expected to reflect Christ I am too.
For me communicating with the men on my team was not easy, especially back in Africa. My team leader Brandon would reach out to encourage me with a “fist pound” and I would look at him strangely with an “I’m a girl” comment. Now when I see Brandon when our teams reunite we can joke about it and a fist pound just happens. I also used to get offended so easily by constructive feedback; I took it personally when God wanted me to see it as a way to grow.
I have learned to loosen up, to trust, to be stretched in growth and to step out in faith. To let the men lead, but also to know & understand they can & will make mistakes too. When they do, I have learned to forgive & give them grace. I have also realized my role to challenge & also help them grow in faith; sometimes with a difficult word from the Lord. I believe these men were put in my life to rebuild trust in men & to heal my heart from past hurts. It’s amazing what God can do through our relationships; especially when they revolve around Christ.
Anyhow…I have come a long way with knowing how to keep men as friends. Josh who has been on my team for this entire time I’m sure would be able to see the difference between the then & now.. I am a changed woman. It doesn’t seem so acward anymore to have 3 men to be traveling with. It seems right. It is what the Lord had for me for this season. My current brothers include Josh, Stephen, and Tom. From my previous team also Brandon & Carl which makes 5 total. I’m sure you could count the others who have spoken life & prophecy, and showed honor to myself & the other woman of this squad. We are thankful for our men & we appreciate the strength of Christ, the humbleness, the servant’s hearts, and the way’s that you honor us as Women of God. Thank you for teaching me what it means to have a brother in Christ. For that I am thankful.
Here are 3 of my other brothers from Team 1 + Joshua who has been on both.
Oh good ol’ Fire Disciples… (Me, Allie, Olivia, Brandon, Joshua, Carl)
Oh yes and there is Tom! Gotta love the non-stop growing beard!
(Me, Tom, and Emily)
