I can’t believe the time is almost here. Over the past couple weeks I have been sorting through so many emotions. I have been gripped by sadness and fear, but also overcome with joy. My last day at work was on Tuesday and it was so strange to turn in my ID badge and key. It is strange to not have a job right now. Yesterday I woke up in a panic. My heart was racing, and I thought to myself “what am I doing??” The fear subsided but it is still very real. I have no idea what to expect on this trip and I will have very little control over this next stretch of time. I have been increasingly aware of how good I have it here in Pittsburgh and I have been enjoying the past couple weeks.
I feel like I have been totally indulgent. I have eaten whatever foods I want. The other day I had a massive amount of peanut m and m’s for breakfast. Ok, I did that one more than one occasion. I’ve had wonderful meals with friends. I got a massage and a pedicure. Since I moved back to the South Hills I have really enjoyed being in my childhood home and spending time with my mom. I’ve also enjoyed being closer to my best friend. I’ve had the chance to spend more time with her son, my nephew, Benjamin. My heart melted the other day when he talked to me on the phone and said “Auntie Meghan, come home.” My world has never felt so good and the truth is that I’m sad to leave all this behind.
Last night we celebrated at my mom’s house with a going away/birthday party. I was overwhelmed by the number of people that came to support me and say goodbye. Friends from different parts of my life came together to pray with me, hug me and cry with me. I remember feeling so lonely at different points in my life. God has provided me with an amazing group of genuine, caring friends. I am so grateful. I feel so much love, comfort, and support I can hardly contain myself. I can’t wait to give some of that love away. At the same time I am expierincing this heightened sense of love and comfort, I have an acute awareness that this cannot last. It’s time to go, and I’m ready. I am definitely sad, but I’m ready. I just hate saying goodbye.
Something I have realized is that most people hate saying goodbye. I’ve had so many people say “well, I’ll see you again soon” I think goodbyes feel too final. So that is what I am saying. It’s not goodbye, it’s see you soon. Thank you for your prayers and support. This has been quite the journey. I am flying to Atlanta tomorrow to meet my squad for more training. We fly to Albania on July 1st. Please pray for safe travels and transition into whatever is next in Albania! Love to you.
