As many of you have heard, I have been accepted into the World Race! But many of you do not know my testimony and how the Lord has brought me to this point in my life. I just want to share a little bit about what the Lord has done and is doing in my life for those of you who would like to hear. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am. God has blessed me in so many ways and words fail to describe how good and faithful He has been to me. So here goes…
I grew up in the church. My whole life I have heard the stories of Jesus and I always believed in God. But I did not exactly give my life to Christ. I lived life putting myself first and God second. When I was younger, my walk with Christ was very superficial. I went to church my whole life but I did not really understand what if meant to truly follow and know Christ. I was the definition of a lukewarm Christian.
Fast forward to October of 2005. The doctors told us my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I was 15 at the time and very confused and angry with God. I kept asking myself what did she do to deserve this? How could God let my mom have breast cancer? What kind of all loving and powerful God would do that? I became very bitter and I really could have cared less about God or anything else for that matter.
Then two months later, my mom was in a car wreck that nearly killed her. She broke every bone in her face and had to get her mouth wired shut. She broke every rib, and shattered her pelvis bone and had to get a metal rod stuck in her hip. She had to go to a rehabilitation center to learn how to walk again. The hospital became a second home for me and after my mom being in the hospital for 3 months, the doctors told us the cancer was growing. She then had to get a double mesictamy and a few months later had a brain tumor. I was broken, I tried to hold it together the best I knew how to be strong for my mom but on the inside I was scared out of my mind. I bottled it all up. I became kind of numb to everything and I ran away from God. I knew He was there but I just wanted Him to heal my mom. Through all of this, I began to lose faith. I felt like I was completely and utterly hopeless. I felt God had taken her away from me as a way of punishing me for something. I would pray sometimes for God to heal my mom but I never ever believed he would do so. I was this way for 2 years.
I began to go to church throughout this time, but I didn’t really have a strong relationship with Christ. I got involved in the worship team and started playing the drums. Playing in the band was kind of my way of escaping from my family life. I really wasn’t doing it for God, I was doing it for me. I just enjoyed being away from home and seeing my mom so sick. Music became my escape.
I felt so empty and lost, so one day I went and bought a bible. I began to read it and I was just drawn to the word. I was still very angry and bitter towards God but I still longed for Him. I knew there was something missing in my life. I didn’t know why my mom had cancer but I began to build a relationship with Jesus. I started to play in the worship band a lot and went to church and started seeking the Lord. I began to make some friends at church but my home life still wasn’t good. It was like I would go to church and feel God and I would be so consumed by His presence, then I would get home and see my mom sick and in pain so I would go back to living for myself and what I wanted to do. I was a different person when I was at church, I was happy and friendly and outgoing but when I would get home I was just angry and bitter. I kept questioning God and I didn’t really trust Him or have faith. It was very difficult to see my mom going through chemotherapy, radiation, brain tumors, and all of this pain.
Over time things began to slowly change. Instead of just singing worship sons, I began to lift my hands to God during praise and worship and truly started worshipping. I started to play the drums differently and I would bounce up and down on my chair and bang the drums so hard my hands would throb after I played. I began to talk and treat people differently. I was very happy and I began to have complete faith in God. Although I didn’t understand why my mom had cancer, I just praised God for at least giving me a mom and a family. I just started living for Him. I was so hungry for God and I began to really and truly build a relationship with Him. For me, I always thought that I was doing everything on my own and God was nowhere to be found. But really, He was there all along and carried me through those hard times.
Then in July of 2008, I dedicated my life to Christ and got saved and baptized! A month later, I left home and went to LaGrange College. Going into college I thought I was a true Christian, but in actuality I enjoyed sin much more than I enjoyed a relationship with Christ. I was very selfish and prideful and I definitely did not but Jesus first in my life. But I still loved the Lord and wanted to serve. So after a few months into college, I got involved in BCM and FCA and I decided to go to Confluence with BCM. At Confluence, David Platt spoke about missions and Matthew 28 and how we need to be living out the Great Commission. I had never really heard of that, but that night God ignited a passion in my heart to do missions.
So a few weeks later I decided to go to a mission’s conference weekend with BCM. I decided I wanted to give up my summer and go on a mission trip. That weekend, I was praying God would reveal to me His will and then I read about WinShape Camps. I had never heard of it before but I decided I would apply and interview there along with many other Christian summer camps. Next thing I know, I get a call from WinShape telling me I am hired! I could not believe it. I served my first summer there in 2009 and God did some incredible things there.
When I returned home from WinShape, I was on fire for God. I was on a complete spiritual high and was completely sold out to Christ. Then I got the news. The doctors told us that my mom only had 6 months to live and chemotherapy was no longer an option. Two weeks later after 4 years of battling breast cancer, my mother went home to be with Jesus Septebmer 3, 2009.
After my mother’s passing, I did not know how to handle it. I prayed so long for God to heal my mom and I truly believed He was going to. There was no doubt in my mind that He was going to heal her completely, so when she passed I told myself that I no longer wanted to live for God and I was going to rebel. I chose to walk away from Christ and I decided to turn to sin as a means to cope with the pain. For about 5-6 months of my life, I decided to live for myself and forget about God. During that time, I felt so empty and numb and I just knew that that something needed to change.
I then returned to WinShape for another summer and during that time God began to renew my faith. I turned to Christ in the midst of my grief and pain, and slowly over time He began to heal my broken heart. I gave my heart back to Him and He restored my faith.
After serving 3 incredible summers at WinShape Camp for Girls, I began to pray and ask God what He wanted me to do when I graduated college. I had always had a heart for missions and so I decided I wanted to pursue that passion and see where God would take it. and I decided I wanted to be a missionary after I graduate college in May 2012. It was something I have been praying about and pondering on for a while.
I found out about the World Race from a friend of mine at camp this summer. She told me about the World Race in passing as we discussed missionary opportunities. She told me it was 11 countries in 11 months and you travel doing all sorts of different missions. So after camp ended, I began to research the World Race, watched some of their videos, read their blogs, etc. And I began to have a peace about the decision to apply. I applied and a few days later I get a call from a girl who served on the World Race and we talked on the phone for over an hour discussing her experience and my hopes for the trip and everything. It was an incredible conversation, and through that I knew I wanted to do the World Race. I prayed about the opportunity and signed up to have a phone interview. A few days later I had the phone interview and I shared my entire testimony. We talked for a good while as I poured my heart out and talked about what the Lord has done in my life and where He has brought me.
And now here I am! I got the phone call and they told me I have been accepted into the World Race! It is a dream come true. Throughout my life, I have faced many trials and tribulations. But through it all, God has been faithful and so good to me. I am at a point in my life now where I want to serve Him in radical ways and dedicate my life to making disciples of all nations. I am in the process now of sending out support letters and trying to get fundraising for my trip. I know the Lord has called to serve on the World Race and where God guides, He provides. I cannot wait to see what He does!
