So… I guess training camp is tomorrow?
Huh… I was not ready for it to come so quickly.
I don’t think I can describe to you all my feelings at the moment.
I am a mixture of afraid, anxious, excited, and everything else in between.
All of my bags are (almost) packed, and I am “ready” to leave.
Now, I would be lying to you if I said I have not spent the past week or so in a very constant anxious state of mind. I wobble between restlessness and complete and utter fear of what lies before me.
I have been short with my family numerous times (for which I deeply apologize), and I have spent nights laying in bed thinking about what it is going to be like at training camp.
“Will they like me?”
“Will I do well?”
“Will I be able to walk the 3 miles (with my pack on in the blistering southern heat) in under 50 minutes?”
All of these questions and more are constantly floating around in my head.
I have had to talk myself down from panic attacks more than once…
And why?
He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
-Matthew 8:26
I have had little faith.
And honestly, this is the first time that I have fully realized that.
Wow… I have had little faith that my God, the one who loves me and DIED for my life, will give me the strength and courage that I need to go through with this crazy amazing plan that he has for me.
So, I would like to ask you all… Pray for me.
Pray that I would have faith in our Almighty God who loves us.
Pray that He would give me the strength to follow His amazing plan.
Pray that I will be vulnerable with my new family.
Pray that we all will be safe and that we would know that this is a good plan that God has for us.
Pray that we can truly see His majesty and grace at training camp.
Pray for our hearts, that they would be open to whatever lies ahead.
I want to thank all of you for your constant support and love. I have been so blessed by all of your prayers and love. I would not be able to do this without all of you.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
-Joshua 1:9
