Here’s my heart, Lord
Speak what is true
I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I’m made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free
You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through
You are more than enough
You are here
You are love, You are hope, You are grace
You’re all I have
You’re everything
We sang this song at youth group last Wednesday. I have always loved this song, but I was not prepared for it to hit me so hard this time. I stood there singing, feeling my heart burst with longing for God’s presence to fill it. I sang out the verses, feeling my soul fill up with joy as I remembered just what I meant to God, and what He did for me. I felt all of the guilt and shame that I had, be washed off of my body. I felt new, full of life, and… free.
I am free.
Why? I can only give you one reason: Because God loved me so.
Why does God love me, though? I can’t really answer that, because, honestly, I find it hard to love myself sometimes. I get caught up in the constant need to impress people, or I find myself being bogged down in my own sin. I feel unforgiven, like God could never possibly look at me as a clean new being. I could never be good enough for God. That he would not be willing to actually take me into His arms and love me.
I felt trapped. Like a bird in a cage.
But as I sang those words, I was reminded of just how amazing grace is.
I remembered that no matter how badly I perform, God is strong, God is sure, God is life.
The God that loves me is life.
He is life.
I cannot fathom how someone so perfect an amazing can love, let alone forgive, me. But He does. And He always will. All He asks for is my heart.
So as I continue to prepare my heart for this amazing, God-filled, crazy journey that lays in front of me, I am giving my heart to you God. I want all that you have planned for me. I want the strength you provide. I want the wisdom you give to those who ask. I want the sureness of salvation. I want the life you so freely give.
So here is my heart Lord, speak what is true.
I cannot wait until God breaks me down on this trip. I cannot wait for Him to build me back up, stronger in Him. I cannot wait for Him to continue reminding me that He is my everything. That He is all I have, and that He is all I need.
I am so excited to become more and more strong in Him, and to watch as those around me grow in His love and grace alongside me.
So pray for my team, please. We all need it. Everyone who is going on this amazing journey with me is in need of prayer. We all struggle, we all are in a battle of fear of leaving, grief from leaving, and excitement.
Pray for our hearts, and that we would be open to what God has for us on this trip, and at home. Pray for our minds, that we would be strong enough to not listen to the lies that the evil one tries to tell us, and that we would be strong enough to listen to the truth that God has for us.
And I would like to challenge you all as well: What is God trying to tell you? What lies are you believing? Give your heart up and let Him speak what is true.
Psalm 25:5 Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
