In reflecting upon 2014, I realized three themes the Lord had ordained in my life this year: trust, training, and seeds. And with each one, I now see that God is full of PROMISES.
My faithful Father is taking me from glory to glory, always to deeper and higher and greater things. So while I cling to the truth of ever-increasing glory in my life, I also genuinely acknowledge that this year has been a challenging and painful one.
Perhaps that in itself is a compliment from the Lord because the difficulty was a result of His entrusting deeper things to me. Apparently He trusts me. (Funny how He trusts me and I have trouble trusting myself.) Yet with such compliments come weighty responsibility and trial. I found myself lately being in a rather ungrateful, victimized, and bitter mindset regarding this year. And it was so easy to be miffed at God about what didn’t happen and how much uncertainty currently surrounds me.
But as they say, you start a new season the way you finished your last. I’m so ready for 2015, but I dare not enter it just trying to flee from 2014. Because flipping open a new calendar isn’t going to magically erase my remaining bitterness or bring an epiphany of clarity. Instead, I’d like to exit 2014 with joyful gratitude, healthy closure, and hopeful vision.
So here’s to part of that attempt. This is how I believe each theme of 2014 is actually pointing me to God’s promises.
TRUST
When He calls me to deeper trust, He is promising me His faithfulness. Will you trust for no other reason than My faithfulness? Let me show you how faithful I am.
Don’t mess around when you sing ‘Oceans’ [Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders] or ‘You Make Me Brave’ [You call me out beyond the shore into the waves]. If this year was a taste of ‘trust without borders’ and ‘into the waves’ for me, I’m both frightened and amazed by what more lies in the expanse of borderless, endless waters. But each time God calls me out, it’s like His promise for a miracle- for me to walk on water. He’s inviting me to see that He’ll come through. This is why I bought my one-way ticket to Korea a month before leaving, why I hopped on a plane not even knowing where I’d be living after the first week. This is why I believed for breakthrough in my family. This is why I committed my heart to my church, New Philly, upon a mere few visits. And this is why I serve at the K1 (Kingdom 1st) Prayer Tabernacle with a desire to build Him a dwelling place.
{Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.}
TRAINING
When He puts me through training, He is promising me promotion and victory in battle for myself and others. I’m preparing you to raise you up to greater places and to win battles. I’m equipping you to boldly manifest the victory I’ve already won.
Ever since my 11-month, 11-country journey of the World Race, I’ve been in training. Growing in identity, self-awareness, self-love, confidence. My first four months of the year were spent in my second semester of CGA Worship Track in Georgia. Being humbled, empowered, called up and out. Having creativity and intellect drawn out of me. Then the first leg of this ‘roots journey’ to Korea, including groundwork for World Race Fusion, has of course been more training. Learning context of my roots, of North and South Korea, of my calling. Confirming my calling to full-time ministry, particularly worship and intercession. Pruning character. Walking through inner healing and living out freedom. Going through loneliness, depression, doubt, trouble hearing from God. Even for every attack of the enemy to steal, kill, and destroy, God will get glory and He’ll repay me with heavenly riches. Best of all, this is not just about me. But it’s a promise that He’ll use my experiences and my story to influence and free others.
{Psalm 144:1 Praise be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.}
SEEDS
When He plants seeds, He is promising a fruitful, visible harvest. I’m doing a new thing, and these seeds are promises of growth and reaping. What you sow in tears you’ll reap with joy.
You can’t tell what a tree or its fruit will look like just by the shape of a seed. You might even forget where the seed was placed. But God never forgets. He’ll also let me water and nurture this new life so I can partake in the joy of the process. Then He’ll multiply the fruit because that’s just how He works. This year, I feel that several seeds have been planted in me, regarding things like dreams, songs, nations, prayer, inheritance, God’s heart, and Holy Spirit fire. I hope to start seeing these grow in the coming year, going from something intangible and invisible to something I can testify about.
{Philippians 1:6 ..he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.}
I’m gaining new insight into the promises of my King. I know He doesn’t waste a thing; He is intentional with initiating and following through. Why else would He bring me through all these things if not to promise me all the goodness that lies on the other side? I shall rest in these sweet promises. (Hold me to it, please?)
Basically, in Christ, #allwedoiswin. But for real.
All this hidden, underground stuff God has been doing in and through me has to eventually come out somehow. Only He knows the timing and method, but all I know is that I’m on my way out of hiding and things are on their way out of hiding from me. For all that has been unseen and behind the scenes, there will be a manifestation to display His glory. For all that has been uncertain, there will be clarity. COME ON! Oh, that I may receive it all and receive it well!
Let’s see what you’ve got, 2015. This girl isn’t settling.
