It happened a few nights ago. I’d just prayed, journaled, and closed my Bible. Not quite frustrated, but just yearning for more. Lord, if You won’t give me some clear words now, please at least give me some good dreams. Please? And as I lay there trying to fall asleep, I felt this weird urge to look up a passage in a book that started with an ‘S.’ Ummm, okay, S.. S.. I fumbled around in my head, and suddenly 1 Samuel 2 came to mind. Really, God? That’s so random… But okay… I opened up, having no clue what 1 Samuel 2 would be about, and it turned out to be Hannah’s prayer. Parts of it definitely spoke to me, especially verse 5 […She who was barren has borne seven children…] and verse 8 […He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.] I saw myself as the barren woman and the poor and needy because I’d felt spiritually dry and desperate. I read it, thanked Him for the hopeful prayer, then closed the Book again. Alright, actually time to sleep now, I thought.
But nope. Mere seconds passed before the words “1 Samuel 10” and “anointing” popped into my head. At this point, I seriously thought I was just making stuff up as words were swimming around in my mind. Again, of course, I had not the faintest idea of what 1 Samuel 10 was actually about.
Curiosity got a hold of me, so I opened up to find out.
[v 1: Then Samuel took a flask of oil and poured it on Saul’s head and kissed him, saying, “Has not the Lord anointed you leader over his inheritance?”]
Whaaat? I almost burst out laughing. So my thoughts hadn’t been nonsense! I hadn’t just made it all up! Thank You, Jesus!
I read on.
[v 6 : The Spirit of the Lord will come upon you in power, and you will prophesy with them; and you will be changed into a different person. Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you.]
My reaction: Seriously?!? Whoa, too good!! … But is this really You telling me that I’m anointed, that I’m a leader, that I’ll prophesy? Or was this all just confirmation that I heard the words ‘1 Samuel 10’ and ‘anointing’ from You correctly?
Oh, those doubts. Oh, those lies. Get the devil out of here! I now trust that my initial reaction was the one from God. That He was directly speaking to me, and not just teasing me with a random verse and a word that show that I heard His voice in my thoughts. God doesn’t tease me with truth; He promises me with it. I’m going to try to allow myself grace to make mistakes. After all, if I don’t mess up and figure out what isn’t of God, how will I know what is of God?
So do I hear from Him? Absolutely.
Is He outside my box of how He’s ‘supposed to talk’ to me? Clearly.
Is doubt going to discourage me from trying to know my Shepherd? Not in this eternity.
