As we went over the schedule of parents week, reality began to sink in a bit. Coming out of a lengthy debrief and jumping into a set schedule starting at 7am to finish around 10:30pm each night was not exactly what we were expecting to hear. There were several different ministries including working at an orphanage, community outreach and rebuilding a house in the 5 days in Kijabe, Kenya.
All I could think about was, what are they going to think of this? Aren't they going to be exhausted? How will they see this trip? How will they view me? Completely irrational fears flooded me and the need for approval rose up inside of me.
Holy Spirit, I trust you. I trust that you had this week planned out before I was even born.
And so they came! Vans full of parents pulled into the camp around 10:30pm, mothers and fathers reuniting with the daughters and sons they had not seen for 8 months. It was a surreal moment putting faces to the names that we had been hearing about for months and to come to the realization that we are exact mini replicas of mom and dad.
The week began with worship. Every morning we would wake up to a breakfast of mandazis and plenty of coffee and chai for the addicts followed by worship before heading out to our ministry locations. Each evening we would have dinner of chipati or rice, with cabbage and carrots followed by a debrief of the day that stretched late into the night as we talked about what the Lord had done that day.
Something inside of me broke free that week. I was so hesitant in the beginning to act myself. Where worship had been so easy to dive into previously, all of a sudden I was so aware of my actions and spent the time wondering what my parents were thinking at that very moment. One of the first mornings before worship, I felt the Lord speaking to me,
If you can learn to fear me more than your parents, you will truly be able to conquer the fear of man.
That was it! I was so concerned of how they viewed me, believing the LIE that they might not be proud of me or that they would not support me. The truth is that my parents love the Lord and they love and support me, if I can truly understand that, how much more does my heavenly Father love me and approve of me? Whose affirmation was I relying on? Whose approval was I seeking?
The week was blessed. The Lord brought together families to work for His kingdom. I got to work along side my mom and my dad seeing how my mother has the ability to make conversation with absolutely everyone and help my dad build a house with the most limited tooling available.
At the end of the day, we were all refreshed. We found newness and caught our second wind for the next two months as we got the see everything with new eyes. We started to find joy in the little things. We began to ask the Lord what He had for us, instead of just assuming the same old routine. We learned the value in that He has something new planned for us each day.
Thank you parents! Thank you for your perspective and for your love. WE were so blessed by you and we will finish this race strong!