Well hello guys! I’m here in Swaziland now and realized I didn’t recap much of Uganda with all of you.
Uganda was great, probably my favorite month, minus the lack of sleep. Our contact was an awesome pastor couple along with 2 girls and 1 boy they cared for. The girls were 16 and 17 and that is where my heart was.
Many days I would stay back from morning ministry just to spend time and cook with them. I miss them already and hope to see them again one day.
Now we are in Swaziland and the lack of sleep is catching up to me. I am still struggling with sleep; I normally get 2-4 hrs a night. Earlier this month, I was waking up with a pounding heart and fearing the worst. I was praying selfish prayers for protection.
One morning, I was so frustrated with my own fears and exhaustion that I cried out the Lord. I asked Him, “I know fear isn’t from you, but what should my reaction be if something is to happen?”
He told me to praise Him, intercede for others and trust that the promises and plans He has given me for after the race will be fulfilled. (More deets on that later)
That night, a flashlight outside of the window woke me up at 3am. I heard commotion (the door is loud) and my heart pounded and my throat dropped into the pit of my stomach.
I thought it was happening and I couldn’t praise the Lord. I was crippled in fear.
Although the next morning I found out it was just a squad-mate going to the restroom, the Lord taught me a lot in that moment.
He showed me I was trying to cast the fear out in my own strength. He showed me I couldn’t overcome the fear, but He could.
So now each night when I wake up (which I still do), I hand my flesh and fear over the Him. I pray that His spirit comes and calms my soul. Ever since that moment I have been learning more and more how to surrender my flesh over to Him and be led by the Spirit.
