I have a heart for service. I have a passion for people. I love working behind the scenes.
This trip is all about serving others in any way possible. Whether we are helping the local ministry or serving fellow racers, the main idea is spreading God's love and giving Him the praise. I started off strong of in serving through my own strength. The energy was there and I was always willing to help in any way possible, until I finally hit a brick wall. Towards the end of the second week, my joy from serving wasn't filling me. I didn't think I was making much of a difference, based on people's reactions. I realized that I have had been too focused on getting the attention of others for my actions. I realize that I had found my joy through pleasing others. I wanted the praise and attention for my “selfless” actions. I thought that this praise provided enough joy and energy for a life full of service. I was wrong, it was a major stumbling block.
God was showing me that I wasn't doing anything at all, therefore I didn't deserve any of the credit. Every night I hoped that someone would verbally affirm an act of service that day, but it never happened. It took about two or three days for the lesson to sink in. I finally started to understand the fact that He deserves all of the praise. I could easily praise Him for the blessings in my life but it was harder to actually praise Him for how He chose to use me.
Reality check– I am merely a vessel, following orders. I do not plan the orders, nor do I have control or power to fulfill the duties on my own. Therefore, what makes me qualified to claim the praise and honor associated with the success? Nothing. I should not focus on pleasing others, this only provides a temporary joy. A joy that has a limited battery supply.
I have had the best “God moments” talking to locals here, trying to communicate simply through non-verbal cues, with a minimal amount of Romanian, with a dash of Spanish. It's in these moments of weakness that God shows up and truly deserves all the praise. I don't have to know what they are saying, God already does. I just have to be willing and ready to serve, and let His name be praised, not mine. These are the moments that I will cherish forever and where my ultimate source of unending power comes from, a power that goes beyond the power of what any human deserves, especially me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
– John 15:5-8
