I have been having a hard time understanding what God has been doing in my life. Its been a rough climb so far and i haven't even gotten started. I find myself constantly looking at my funding progress and expecting it to move but its barley left the ground. I've been focusing on the wrong things. I been so over whelmed with people giving me donations that I've neglected the main person I am suppose to be doing this for. For the first time in a long time I got down on my knees and began talking to God one on one; no music, no distraction, just me and Him. Even though I was upset at Him I felt almost a sense of relief like I had been holding on to way too many things that i should have. I feel like He's trying to get me on my knees more. Honestly I felt as if He wasn't listening I felt alone In all of this like I had to do everything on my own and I had been seeing everyone else on our squad being blessed with cars and supplies and amounts of money and I kept thinking to myself what am I doing wrong what haven't I done I felt as if it were some kind of waiting game and there was some kind of formula to get Gods attention to bless me and provide for my trip but that wasn't it. I haven't really been connecting with Him like i used to; I miss Him and I hadn't been putting in the time to come and visit AT ALL. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off (excuse the cliche) doing meaningless things instead of really spending time with Him. Not reading His number one selling book not trying to act out His every move and show others that I am a christian and not listening to sermons and go to church; Not that those things are bad but there just not Him.
I would like to ask you all for prayer because I could use some while I begin to understand this I love everyone of you donation or not lol 😉 and I pray that you continue reading ether way.
