There’s something you should know about me and the World Race.
I didn’t want to do it.
And to be quite honest, I have moments where I wonder what in the world I am thinking and why I ever thought this was a good idea. I have strategically planned out the email I would send them about why I have decided not to go.
I’ve determined that Moses and I are a lot alike. Except that I wasn’t ordered to be killed when I was born, I didn’t kill a man and bury him in the sand, I have never been able to send plagues out, I didn’t lead an entire tribe of people to a land of milk and honey, and I didn’t deliver the Ten Commandments. But those are only minor details. In other ways, Moses and I are pretty similar.
When God first started putting the World Race on my heart I thought He had surely lost it. I can’t count the number of times in my life I had said “I know that God definitely has not called me to missions”. I bet He slapped His knee every time I said that. To know me is to know how very much I adore my family and close friends. I LOVE family get togethers, I enjoy talking on the phone to my mom a minimum of 7 times a day, and I am absolutely, positively obsessed with my little brother. My best friend is literally my BEST friend. People have multiple, and I’m sure she wishes that I did. Because she gets it ALL. There is no one else to spread it out amongst (sorry, Kayla). So, clearly, going anywhere for a month was absurd. 11 months? Never in a million years.
It shouldn’t even be surprising to us as Christians anymore to hear people say “I never thought I would…” and then God leads you to it. But, here I am, surprised… My new theory is that whatever it is I think I DO want to do, I’m going to start saying that there is no way God would ever call me to that. Maybe that will work…
So, back to Moses. If you know his story, you know that he was born an Israelite in the most inopportune time. Pharaoh was unhappy with how many Israelites there were in his Egyptian community and had ordered for all baby boys born to Israelites to be killed in order to decrease the population. Moses’ mom had him, hid him for 3 months, put him in a basket, floated him down the river to Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her adopted son. Eventually he grew up, saw the oppression of his biological heritage, killed a man who was beating up his people, and fled to a new land when he was found out.
Fast forward a little bit. Moses was called by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into the Promise Land aka the land of milk and honey. Somehow God knew that Moses wouldn’t just listen to a whisper and decided to appear to him via a burning bush. Now, I would like to think had he come to me this way I would have immediately said yes to the World Race. Moses didn’t, though, so there’s a possibility I wouldn’t. Moses is quoted in Exodus 4:13 as saying to the burning bush, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” This is the first time I relate to Moses. When I felt that first little “push” from Jesus to go on this mission trip, I couldn’t have refused quicker. I thought for sure I was hearing things wrong. There is no way the One who knows me better than I even know myself would think that I would abandon my life here to go across the world for ELEVEN months. Nope. Ain’t happening. But He just didn’t stop. He kept pushing and pushing and well…here we are. Because He is the One who knows me better than I know myself, He knew that this was His plan for me. So, reluctantly, and after very many questions and excuses like Moses gave, I have agreed. I still find myself saying, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else” but He isn’t giving in. So, Moses and I have agreed to go on our journeys…but God doesn’t stop there, of course.
Later in Moses’ story he eventually convinces Pharaoh to allow him to take the Israelites away from Egypt. I probably could have also related myself to Pharaoh, but that’s another devotion for another day. I want to be the willing today, not the stubborn (; So Moses is leading this big group of crybaby Israelites on their journey and it is not easy. They kick and scream the entire time, even after multiple miracles are performed to prove that Jesus is in this. (I have a feeling that will resignate in my story, too, because Jesus really likes to show out.) In Exodus 14:13-14 Moses tells the people of Israel, who are seeing a huge army of Egyptians coming up from behind them to attack them, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today…The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent.” I am willing to bet Moses was about 74% sure that this statement was accurate. But there was still that 26% piece of him that was just praying the Lord really showed up, because he was human just like us.
This is the part of Moses’ story I am in now. Y’all…I am terrified. I am terrified that I will not raise the money I need to raise to go on this trip, I am terrified I will have to sleep in a tent, I am terrified that while I am in that tent some nasty, creep crawly thing will get on me and I will just DIE. I am scared to death that I will get to Costa Rica and cry every single second of every single day because I miss my family so much. I am afraid that I will get sick and won’t have any medicine nearby and won’t be able to get proper treatment. I am worried I won’t like any of the food we have to eat. I have fears that range from absolutely ridiculous to completely relevant. It is so easy for me to quote “the Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent” to my friends who are worried…but when it comes to MY fears, I can’t seem to believe that so easily.
Exodus 14:25 says, “Let us flee from before the Israelites, for the Lord fights for them…” This is the scripture that gives me hope. This is quoted by the Egyptians once they see that God is in control and has the Israelites completely covered. This is where I rest. I KNOW that God has this under control. I am terrified and worried and anxious, but somehow, I still have peace. I know that Jesus laid this trip on my heart and He has already orchestrated so many things to show me that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. My flesh is always at war with my faith. And sometimes I just want to give in. But I have to remember that the Lord fights for me. And if He can protect an entire people as they travel across the Red Sea, surely He can take care of my uneasiness about this trip.
I tell you all of this to ask that you please, please remember to pray for me as I go on this crazy adventure. Know that I am so very grateful for all that you have done already. The texts and messages and comments and support have been incredible already. I am surrounded by the greatest people ever! Please also know that I am THRILLED that God has chosen me to be a piece in this beautiful big picture He is painting. I may be scared and I may have moments where I fear I have truly lost my mind, but all of that is surpassed by the joy I have about being asked by Jesus to do this for Him.
Jesus very rarely calls us to do things that are not outside of our comfort zone. If you are cruising along and not making any sacrifices, it’s likely that He has something for you that you don’t know about yet. Be ready, though…He may ask you to do something that you just KNOW you aren’t called to do! But I can tell you, saying “yes” is the best thing I have ever done and my journey has barely even started!!
