So it’s the one thing the World Race says to expect. There’s not many, actually they say cast off all expectations. They will be wrecked. However, I do remember hearing there could very well be a slump month, a month where you didn’t know if you could make it, where exhaustion, living conditions, and emotions collide. When this happens, your environment back home, no matter the condition, looks more comfortable, because it’s somewhat predictable and its just what you know and the WR…..well, it just isn’t. This can hit at various points and more than once, but it is commonly said to occur between month 4 and 5.
For me month 4 was an incredible month, I was in the Philippines, a place that captured my heart 6 years ago and here I was again. Here I was in a country that loved Christmas as much as I did, if not more, and they were decked out to the 9’s in Christmas finery, with music playing on every corner, and had been since September. It was here that I was entitled “Psycho Nurse” because I welcomed Jeff Long’s vision to begin a clinic with the pregnant women in the community. Women who had never seen a doctor for a pregnancy, who were blessed to hear their unborn child’s heartbeat for the first time. I was blessed to see those lit up faces, as the group grew from 14 to over 40.
Month 5, December, was a month continued on in the Philippines, where I experienced heaven on the streets of the Philippines, with a street child asleep in my arms and attended the birth of a miracle baby. From the Philippines we then traveled to northern Thailand to a girl’s home. We were able to celebrate Christmas with these girls and their visiting families. Yes, I missed home and family at this point, but that didn’t stop me from experiencing joy when I saw these girls dance to songs of praise; as I sat with one girl as we watched Aladdin and how that group grew by one, and one more until I had about 10 girls on my one bed, of 40 in the room; or as I sat by the fire with 6 giggling girls learning a game with absolutely no English spoken, but experiencing the smiles and laughter; or as I sat up late at night helping a high schooler with her English homework, and rewarded with an amazing hug. No Thailand was overwhelming filled with love and relationships that were difficult to leave. Relationships were being rooted in love and growing, and just beginning to thrive in great bloom, when our team had to leave and begin our journey to Cambodia.
I had made it through “those months” and and made it through without too much difficulty. Or so I thought…We arrived in Cambodia a week ago, where we were blessed with a one night stay in a hotel, yes, a hotel, with hot water shower, and beds to sleep in as an air conditioner helped us off into dreamland.
Team Luna arrived at the women’s center of Teen Challenge Cambodia, a new part of the program, the next morning. It is here we are working alongside the women, building relationships with them, preparing bulbs to plant, shopping for supplies for their sewing trade school, and teaching at the center’s preschool. It is here where we experienced a bucket shower with pond water, until God blessed us with a monsoon downpour (PTL!), in the dry season, where we now have rain water to bathe with (for awhile). We have quite a bit of free time, and during that time this week I realized how tired I am, physically, emotionally, spiritually exhausted. It discouraged me a bit, and as time went by, more and more, I was reminded of…of so many things, and it continued to bring me down.
However, as I lied there and listened to my nightly playlist filled with songs of praise and worship, God spoke his love over me, and I knew He loved me. As I recognized his love and how much I mean to him, the song “How He Loves” started playing. I listened to it more than a few times. I just rested in that and I am trusting that He will bring me through. He has places to show me, He has lessons for me to learn, He has people for me to love, He has experiences that are going to grow my trust in Him as my Abba Father, my Papa. I am a child of the living God, I am His daughter and He loves me. Sometimes, I have a hard time remembering.
What I am reminded of, is that if I had not left for the race last August, I wouldn’t have experienced Africa, and the 3 countries we traveled through. I would not have become a godmother to an Kenyan girl, named Faith. I would not have had my heart break for what breaks his, as I held little children as I painfully removed jiggers that were preventing them from walking. I would not have experienced demons cast out and the light and life of Jesus shine through the eyes of a teenage Ugandan girl. I would have never willingly chose to stand up at Ugandan crusade and share what God had been teaching me. I would not have experienced these experiences, let alone the ones I was blessed to be a part of in the Philippines and Thailand. If I had missed these blessings, what would I miss, if I were at home right now, in the comfort of my home church, my NICU job? God is still using me, God is teaching me to love in new ways, to serve in new ways, to rest in him when nothing else is able to stand its ground. God still has more, 5 countries more.
I also want you to know that God is teaching me about my identity and He is teaching me about yours. He is calling me to recognize my identity, your identity. I want you to know that you are children of the Living God, you are worthy of his love, his compassion, his overwhelming grace. You are children of Light. You are His son, His daughter. Walk in that, even when you struggle to believe that, because He is with you always and you are His…”Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will nor burn you…because you are precious in My sight and honored, and I love you.” (Isaiah 43:1b-2;4) I wanted you to know that He loves you and I love you too. Thank you again for your financial support, prayers and encouragement.
By God’s good graces, our squad has been going for almost 6 months, we have reached our halfway point of the race, with 5 months to go.
