My first Sunday in Tiraspol I was able to watch as a young couple got married right after the church service was over. This last Sunday I was fortunate enough to be present as another young couple announced their engagement. It was such a beautiful thing to be in attendance for, and it really opened my eyes to a whole new realm of dating and engagements. The young man was actually a world racer who had come back after his race to pursue one of the girls here that he had connected with. So as they were announcing their engagement, he was reciting in English (thankfully, haven’t heard that in church for awhile) their promises to the church. In this church, when you date and when you get engaged, you must come before the church body and present to them your intentions. So Carl [the world racer] announced;
“We promise to not kiss,
We promise not to tempt each other,
We promise to not be alone together,
We promise to not force our friends to hang out so that we can spend time together,
We promise to not force someone to come on dates with us,
We promise to not sleep in the same house”
Carl recited right in English and then his fiancé recited eight in Russian.
Yea to say the least my jaw was on the floor, I mean I had been told about some of these rules but wow! So I talked with some of the people from the church and they said yes, these rules apply for when you start dating and when you get engaged. Although there is one difference, when you get engaged you are allowed to hold hands (but not fingers interlaced hand holding), your fiancé can touch your arm from the elbow down.
So needless to say this country just hit me with the full truth about dating and relationships. I mean these couples can’t even sit on a beach with their arms around each other. The soul purpose for dating IS to find someone to marry and if you want it to be a Godly relationship then you had best respect God in it. Yea I mean wow hit me like a ton of bricks, if you really want to find a Godly man then you’ll find him by talking and actually getting to know each other. So many times back home would I just be physically attracted to a man and would never really actually take the time to get to know him, I just thought he was “HOT” and that was all to a relationship [physical attraction]. I would never worry if someone else came out on a date with me to keep me accountable. I surely never realized that too much touching or too much alone time could cause me to stumble. Now growing in Gods love and understanding I am starting to realize that some of these rules are good and most certainly something to think about as I look for someone to share my life with. God made us [man and woman] to be joined in marriage, and until that time to remain pure and righteous. When you are seeking the Lord and have that relationship with him, I would assume you would want that same quality in your significant other as well. In that case neither of you should want to cause the other to stumble and instead you would respect each other enough to know that these small things like kissing, holding hands and being alone together can always lead to more. Therefore why not just eliminate that temptation all together. If you are both truly seeking God and His will there should be no hesitation about agreeing to a set of rules like the ones Carl and his fiancé just recited.
P.s mom when I come home, you are never allowed to hold this blog over my head! Xo love you J
