“Aren’t you so excited?!”
“Dude, I would be so scared if I were you!”
“Are you nervous?”
So many thoughts and questions hit me every time I share about what I will be doing with the next 9 months of my life.
Answers: ~Heck YES I am excited! I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for something in my entire life! Every time I talk to one of my teammates on our group chat, talk with someone about the fact that I will be backpacking the entire time and I will have to buy items from markets and local shops, or when I think about the people I will meet and the cultures I will experience, my heart literally starts pounding, my chest feels like its going to pop, and it’s all I can do to not start giggling and jumping for joy. Probably, if you’ve been one of the people to hear me talk about it, you’ve also seen the ridiculously large smile and squirmy arms.
~Um, if I was scared, wouldn’t that mean I wasn’t completely trusting my Jesus to protect or to guard me? Proverbs 3:5-6 says to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
‘Nuff said.
~Absolutely I’m nervous. I almost feel like if I wasn’t nervous, I wouldn’t be expectant for experiencing anything new. Anytime I do something new or go somewhere I’ve never been before, I am nervous. But you know what? I’m not nearly as nervous as I am on the first day of school (or the week leading up to the first day of school). I’m not freaking out about if anyone will like me. I’m not worried if the way I look or act is socially acceptable. I am not having nightmares every night about going into the wrong classroom, waking up late for school, missing the bus, etc. My tummy isn’t in knots with anxiety, causing me to sit in the bathroom a couple times a day trying not to throw up.
And you know what that tells me? This is where I’m supposed to be. This is what I’m supposed to be doing, with these people I call my teammates- tagging along Jesus’ side and holding His hand as we love His children and serve His favorites.
Yes, I will probably not have the cutest outfits because I will be living out of a backpack. Yes, I will have to take cold “ice bucket” showers every day. And yes I will experience new things and be stretched beyond what I think i’m capable of. But yes, I trust my Jesus and I am expectant for the future and the growth that He has planned for me.
It doesn’t mean school is completely out of the question. It doesn’t mean I am never going back to academics. It does mean that it’s not where I’m supposed to be right now.
Ah, as to what the future hold, I have no exact itinerary. What I do have is comfort in knowing that I am on the path that was already laid out for me, and Jesus was the one who drew it. (I know this is used often and its pretty cliche. But) Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
One more question that I am asked often- “What will you miss the most about home?”
Answer: A couple days ago I would have said my family. Or my favorite tea drink (hahaaa). But someone passed a word to me on Sunday, that made the difference. “God will give you family everywhere you go. You will have parents and siblings in Guatemala, Thailand, and Africa. God is sending people to be your support.” And gosh. God has already given me family for the next 9 months! They are called my “teammates”! And I can’t wait to live life with them, and update my biological family thats back in the sates. This is going to be a blast!
Countdown ’til Launch: 4 days.
Prayer requests: That I can keep my heart where my feet are. Keep my focus on Jesus and the experiences I’m gaining and not the stuff I’m missing at home. That my teammates and I will be protected while traveling, while stationary, and while working in ministry.
As always, thanks for reading! 🙂 Blessings! :):)
