I don’t even know where to start. I have to say…last night was the hardest thing I have EVER done or experienced in my life. As you know…from my last blog. This place has been on my heart and the Lord continues to break my heart for the girls that are here, that have been “pulled” into the sex trafficking. It was heavily on my heart to go into the “war zone”…so last night a group of us went.
The girls got “dressed up” (or down for that matter) so we would look as least attractive as possible, we got together as a group and prayed ourselves up…we then hailed 2 cabs and we were “off”.
As we were driving my heart was pounding so hard and I was so broken for these girls and we haven’t even gotten there yet. Little did I know that was just the beginning of my feelings for the night.
(Let me say this before I go any further…I will explain as best as possible, but there is NO way to try and paint the horrific picture.)
As we get out of the cab a blanket of heaviness covered me and I did everything I could to stand up and hold myself together, my body was so weak.
The second we are out, there are guys on the street with a menu…YES a menu of what you want from the girls…anything that you can think of and anything that your mind does not want to think of is on this “menu”. While they are showing you the menu they continue to “entice” you and pull you into the clubs…so we grabbed each other (literally) held on and we were off.
We walked in and there are girls everywhere…YES…everywhere. They are on stage, walking around, sitting down, at the door with little to nothing on. Everyone of them was wearing a number and the “pimps” were constantly saying take your pick, take your pick…special price 40-80 Baht. What? Yes…that is 1-2 US dollars. You can buy a girl for 1-2 dollars…you have got to be kidding me.
The look these girls had in their eyes were completely hopeless. My heart has never hurt or been broken so bad in my life. many would stand there on “their pole” and just looked at you dead. They had no hope, no feeling, nothing to be happy for. They would literally stand there and stare at you so dead because they would rather that be the case than the situation they are in.
As we go from club to club to club (I’m talking about 20-35+ clubs all in a row on 2 streets) the situations got worse and worse. The things they were making these girls do, the amount of girls in each club, the looks on the girls faces.
The first 2 clubs I was so sick to my stomach, but i was able to hold myself together, but as we got to the 3rd I lost it…I fell apart and could not stop crying the entire time we were there. The “heaviness” became harder and harder to stand. My entire body was in pain, my head felt like it was going to pound out of my head, and my heart was literally broken…it hurt, I couldn’t breathe.
We continued to go into each club, constantly praying, walking around in a circle covering the places in prayer and rebuking the enemy for what he is doing here. Many times the girls would make eye contact with you and all I could do was smile when inside I wanted to grab them up and get out.
As I walked out of one particular club a pimp was outside talking to Chad and as he turned around his eyes were glowing red. (I am not exaggerating…they were glowing). Chad said…”go, this place needs it”. I have to admit it was one that I did not want to go in…but I did. I walked in and it was the most crowded one of all. Inside there were probably 8-12 pimps trying to “entice” us…that’s the thing, we are girls and they are trying to get us to partake. In these clubs, there were girls, boys, young men, old men, men with their wives…I mean…are you kidding me… all of these people “enjoy” this and take part in this. My immediate reaction to them was anger…then I was reminded and told the Lord…Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they do.
…back to my story… as I walked through this particular club I touched every girl i could possibly touch as i walked and prayed. As I was leaving one of the pimp (a different one than the one outside) looked at me with his eyes GLOWING and said something in Thai. As he said it, i said “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus” and as soon as I did he looked at me in the eyes again and said “what did you say”…so i continued to say it as I walked out. I got on the street and went to Chad and told him how possessed these men were especially that one. As Chad asked which one I turned and he was glaring at us again.
The evil that is in this place is so heavy that you can see it people. I mean it is in their eyes, on their faces and the fact that people are so blind and cannot see it scares the crap out of me…for them.
The way these girls are treated like meat…like they are nothing…worthless…i can not explain to you the broken heartedness that i have. There were clubs that have some very vulgar names, but then there are clubs that say “50 Beautiful Girls…and A Few Ugly Ones”…what? are you kidding. They even had a club that literally looked like hell (this was the ONLY club they would not let us in) there was an all black steel gate, the inside was red lights, the outside had vulgar things…it was the “torture” club. I stopped in my foot steps, sat on the street and cried my eyes out even more. It was then that I felt like i could go no further, i couldn’t do this anymore…It was all I could do to sit on that street and cry my eyes out for these girls.
I have read books and watched movies, but i have to tell you that does nothing to prepare you or give you a picture to what this is really like.
After we had covered every club, we decided to go across the street to Starbucks and pray over the area as a group. As we walked into the Starbucks you walked through a wall and the heaviness was somewhat lifted. We all sit there and just cry. No one says a word to each other, we just sit there and cry and cry for what we just saw….what we just experienced. (No one even gets a Starbucks…and that says alot for us!!!)
By the time we got back to the hotel…I had NO voice, my head was hurting worse than it ever has, my body hurt so bad I couldn’t walk and I was coughing and it was hurting my chest so bad…I could feel it in my lungs. This was a major attack, so i asked Friske and Laura to come to my room and pray over me before I went to bed. We rebuked the enemy, rebuked the enemy, and rebuked the enemy until we couldn’t anymore…and I’m pretty sure he got the drift.
I have been under some major spiritual attacks since we got here and I know why it is…the enemy is trying his hardest to win and he is NOT going to. As you know from my last email, I am fasting this month. I chose to do a fruit and liquid diet…well…after staying up all night sick the first night and almost passing out at lunch the second day and freaking my team out, I prayed about this and the Lord told me that it’s the spirit of the fast…not what kind. So, with it being so hot here and I want to keep myself well, I have decided to fast from junk, chocolate, and sweets. You at home are thinking…what? You don’t even really like that stuff so that’s not a big deal…You here on the WR with me and are going…what? that’s crazy you love that stuff. Yes…ever since I got here in the WR and got around other girls that love that stuff and constantly eat it, i do too…so this is a big deal for me.
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as i do this fast and pray about the calling the Lord has given me to come here and minister to these broken girls. The fact that not many (at all) understand that they don’t choose to be there, they are forced and have no choice and if they try to get out, escape, say no, or don’t make their money quota that night…they get beaten, raped, abused.
…i have tons of pics…sorry for the lack…we are getting on a bus in 1hr and i have to go…pics will be soon.
love you and miss you
