Sometimes I forget things I enjoy. I get caught in a list of have-to's that I ignore simple joys. The past couple weeks I have been stuck in between being overwhelmed and discouraged.
What am I doing in Lloyd?
Really– The World Race–should I? What is this fear and desire mixture?
Do my words have influence? Are they positive?
Does anyone truly know my heart?
STOP!
This mindset has been doing me no good but more importantly it hasn't brought Christ any glory! My squad for The World Race (R squad) has been very active in getting to know each other and covering others with prayer. At first I felt incredibly blessed and excited to embrace these people as new family members. Then the reality of vulnerability crept in, the reminder of my ache for people in different location, and the task of starting new in Lloydminster. Yesterday I started my new job at Focus Family Services and was handed 3 large binders full of information. My squad members are talking about their "business cards" and fundraising ideas while I am sitting here in a state of hazy eyes. Right now my most important task is finding a community here in Lloyd that I can dive into the word with and spend evenings in prayer and worship.
As much as this state has been difficult I think it is necessary. On Sunday I was attending my cousin's church in Edmonton (Church on 99). The pastor was speaking of horses and their need to be trained before they can jump. This includes countless hours running around in circles inside a pen. I am also reminded of when David was told he was going to be King he returned to the sheep. He had duties; he had a time of preparation. God has given me a dream, a passion, and a zealous spirit. So when he tames me, it becomes difficult. I know this time of walking through the valley will bring prosperity. I hold on to His promises of life, healing, and love.
So I will run in circles until God asks me to jump. I will tend to the sheep until He calls me to lead. I will remind myself that He leads this stubborn heart.
Today I took the time to spend time with the Lord and do things I enjoy. Lately it has become easier for me to kill time at the gym then spend the time in the word. Today was for God and I.
Reading — the Word, blog searching, some Timothy Keller
Singing— Lecrae…… tehe!
Baking— Coconut Banana Bread…. hummnummnumm
Drinking— bottle of wine (JK!) tea .. coffee.. and more tea. The wine is for later!
Writing— to you! Also for a surprise feature on this blog that will make its way soon! Stay tuned.
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http://kimberlyjensen.theworldrace.org/
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KimR_Jensen
Loaf is done… time to get it out of the oven!
