Dear Friends and Family,
This is a hard blog to write because I feel I have let many of you down. I have decided not to go on the World Race, and did not leave for Thailand last week. There are a number of reasons I made this decision, but the main reason is that I was lacking peace about it.
My week at training camp in Georgia was good. I loved my teammates, I wasn’t disappointed about our Thailand ministry, and I didn’t have a ton of fears, yet I still did not have the peace of the Lord. As training camp came to an end I sat down and told my coaches that I wasn’t 100% sure I was supposed to go on the race and after they prayed about it they did not think it was a good idea for me to go if I was thinking I might leave a few months into it.
As I have been reflecting on why God closed this door the last few days, He’s revealed to me some sin in my life. Somewhere along the road the World Race stopped being about God and started to be about me and my pride, (pride God has been breaking me of a lot the last week). I’ve been reading the last chapter of Joshua for the past few weeks and in verse 14 Joshua charges the Israelites to serve the Lord in sincerity and truth. I wasn’t serving the Lord sincerely or truthfully.
I also realized that the initial reason I wanted to go on the World Race was to gain a heart of compassion. I see now that the people I need to grow in love and compassion for aren’t people across the world and orphans in Thailand, but the people I am surrounded by daily and weekly.
Deciding not to go on the race was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made recently. I have a lot of fears about coming back home and letting my supporters down. I have no idea what I’m doing from here or what God has in store for me, but I am at the end of me and at the beginning of God.
I want to apologize to all of you and to humbly ask for your forgiveness. I would appreciate grace in this time of repentance and uncertainty.
I will post a blog when I know the details about the financial stuff. If you were a monthly supporter that will be halted. For tax reasons the money cannot be returned, however in many cases it can be transferred to another non-profit or church organization.
To Sarah B, “Leens”, Danny boy, Jackie, KY and Lens’: I love you guys. I will be your cheerleader, care package sender, affirmer, and prayer warrior this next year. I am rooting for you guys! Don’t stop laughing. Praying for you guys to become LESS.
