If you do any research about the World Race, or read through any of the advertised blogs, you will inevitably be informed of all the amazing miracles that happen. God is blessing the authority He has given us; and through beautiful obedience, faith, and love for Him, Racers are stepping out and doing incredible things across the globe in the name of Christ. In training camp, and even our first month in the Philippines, extreme miracles were prophesied over my squad. We were told that V-Squad would see unbelievable moments of extreme healing and cast out demons. In the adrenaline, energy and excitement that accompany just beginning The Race, I was beyond ecstatic for all those things to happen. I had dreamt about casting out demons in the time leading up to launch, and was certain this was what Jesus was calling me to do. When it was spoken over us, my insides were on fire. Surely this was God promising those moments for us. And even though we were told over and over again to not have any expectations for the Race, I had no doubt that those expectations would be met.
After eight months being on the field, there were the most lovely accounts of touching moments, beauty, unexpected love, and people coming to faith; but as far as I had heard, still no ridiculous stories of healing or casting out demons from my squad -none of those “featured” front page stories that every Racer dreams of having. Then in Ireland, we had orientation for what is called “Healing on the Streets”. It was the most empowering session of learning how to activate the power God gives us and having the courage to boldly use it. We were once again enraptured by the success stories of the blind people coming to sight, cancer cells immediately leaving a dying body, and the lame walking. When told we would have the opportunity to go out once a week to pray for the people to be healed on the streets I thought, surely, this was the perfect environment for all the miracles we had been promised to happen. But they didn’t.
And that is the pain of having expectations, when they aren’t met, ugly things happen inside of you. I can’t deny that I was discouraged and disappointed, but beyond that it became a works based disappointment. Doubt began to cross my mind about my authority and ability to perform such miracles. I thought of all the excuses: I wasn’t faithful enough, I hadn’t prayed enough, I didn’t believe enough, I wasn’t close enough to God for Him to use me in that way, and maybe that was true of my squad collectively: we hadn’t performed well enough and because we weren’t abiding in Him like we should have been, God wasn’t going to reward us with such proof of His presence. But this is completely false, sad, and the furthest from the Truth of the merciful, grace-filled, and ever good character that our God has.
So God, being the wonderful Redeemer He is, turned those lies and the disappointment into realizing it didn’t matter if I had cast out a demon or not. I came on the Race not for the miracles, but to be be OBEDIENT. Just knowing that He loves me is enough to satisfy, because when the Race is run, it all comes to LOVE- not what miracles I perform, demons I cast out, or number of healings I witness, but whether or not I tell people of the love of Christ for them, and even more importantly show them the love of Christ in and through me. Because all the seemingly small but significant blessings are miracles too- the miracle of a smile, the miracle of heartfelt tears, the miracle of an empathetic shoulder to cry one and the miracle of a long, strong hug. Those small moments carry just as much weight and create just as much light despite their simplicity. Some of the most precious miracles coincide with the smallest actions, and happen inside where no one can see them. THAT is why I am here: to love the Lord more, to love others more, to have more people come to love Christ too. STILL MORE, more and more love. Because God’s incredible love, giving His Son to die on the cross for us and raising again to promise us eternal life with Him, is the greatest miracle I could ever experience, and the only miracle I need.
Let Me Love You More, by Misty Edwards
If I never walk on water, If I never see the miracles, If I never hear your voice so loud,
Just knowing that You love me is enough to keep me here,
Just hearing those words is enough to satisfy. You satisfy. You do, you do.
I couldn’t leave even if I tried. I must have you.
When it is all been said and when its all been done, when the race is run, it all comes to love.
Oh won’t you let me love you more, this is all I desire,
won’t you let me love you more, this is all I require,
won’t you let me love you more, this is my deepest heart’s desire.
Won’t you let me love you more. Still more. AND MORE.
