I bawled in church yesterday. My home church is not a charismatic church, in fact as a Methodist church, it is almost the exact opposite. Combined with the aspect that majority of the congregation is over the age of 70, it is easy to say that any display of emotion is almost nonexistent, other than the occasional Amen from one loud older woman that sits behind me. And even then people roll their eyes. This is something I never really understood, and at one point even used to detest. But it did not hinder me from fully experiencing God yesterday, and it made me realize that the only thing that was lacking in the worship was not emotion, but my own presence. And man oh man was I fully immersed in God. It felt as though the entire service was designed specifically for me, that each word was directed toward my ears and my heart. The quotes, the hymns, the bible verses- they all hit me like a lead balloon and weighed heavy on my heart. At first I was in awe by how quickly the service affected me, then my eyes began to water, and then my nose began to sniffle and drip. Every transition into a new section hit me like I was a little child in the ocean desperately trying to make it to shore, but constantly being knocked over by the pound of a wave at your back. The kind of heavy ache that fills your chest as you gasp for air as you sputter under the force of wave, is how I felt inside. But I held it in, restraining myself from losing complete control. And finally as the service came to a close and I sat in the glow of the stained glass windows with the organ music calmly playing like the soundtrack to a movie, I let go. And I wept. A few members of the congregation watched me as they left, not knowing what to do. I didn't even know what to do. At first my mother watched me, letting me experience whatever God was doing in my heart; and then she brought me into her arms. And all I could manage was to splutter out a simple phrase "I HAVE to go".
Never had I heard God speak to me so clearly, and convict my heart so completely. But he did that day, and I knew. I know. I know the World Race is right. I know I am called to be Light to the Darkness, and love to an aching and desperate world.
And my response is, I HAVE to go.
I won't explain too much more, but I will simply post the words and prayers that so heavily affected me. I pray that you meditate on them as you are reading them, and allow yourself to fully experience their weight and power as well.
Centering Moment:
Amos 6:12b
You have turned Justice into poison
and the Fruit of Righteousness into wormwood
The Morning Prayer: Psalms 82
How long will you judge unjustly and show partiality to the wicked? Instead, give justice to the weak and the orphan; defend the poor and fatherless; do justice to the destitute, afflicted, and needy; rescue the weak, deliver them from the hand of the wicked. They have neither knowledge nor understanding. They walk about in darkness. All the foundations of the earth are shaken.
A Prayer of General Confession:
O God, just as the disciples heard Christ's words of promise and began to eat the bread and drink the wine in the suffering of a long remembrance and in the joy of a hope, grant that we may hear your words, spoken in each thing of everyday affairs:
Coffee on our table in the morning;
the simple gesture of opening a door to go out, free; the shouts of children in the parks;
a familiar song, sung by an unfamiliar face;
a friendly tree that has not yet been cut down.
May simple things speak to us of your mercy, and tell us that life can be good. And may these sacramental gifts make us remember those who do not receive them:
in the door of the hospital, the prison, the welfare home that does not open;
in war hymns that glorify death;
in deserts where once there was life.
who have their lives cut every day, in the bread absent from the table;
Christ was also sacrificed; and may we learn that we participate in the saving sacrifice of Christ when we participate in the suffering of his little ones. Amen.
Prayer of Thanksgiving
Almighty and merciful God, from you comes every good and perfect gift. We give you praise and thanks for all your mercies. Your goodness has created us, your bounty has sustained us, your discipline has chastened us, your patience has bourne us, your love has redeemed us. Give us a heart to love and serve you, and enable us to show our thankfulness for all your goodness and mercy by giving up ourselves to your service, and cheerfully submitting in all things to your blessed will; through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
Hymn of Preparation:
The Church of Christ, In Every Age
The Church of Christ, in every age beset by change but Spirit led,
must claim and test its heritage and keep on rising from the dead.
Across the world, across the street, the victims of injustice cry
for shelter and for bread to eat, and never live until the die.
Then let the servant church arise, a caring church that longs to be
a partner in Christ's sacrifice and clothed in Christ's humanity.
For he alone whose blood was shed can cure the fever in our blood,
and teach us how to share our bread and feed the starving multitude.
We have no mission but to serve in full obedience to our Lord
to care for all, without reserve
and spread His liberating Word.
Prayer for Inspiration
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me. Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me.
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
Sermon:
Real Justice
I was already sniffling during the sermon, but I think I still managed to pick up on a few on the key points. The main one that stuck with me is that WE are called to bring the Justice of Jesus Christ to the world. It is not enough to just believe in Jesus and believe in justice, but we must LIVE our life for Christ and as Christ, and act upon every moment through our faith. Thus, We are not called to mere discipleship, but to APOSTOLIC MINISTRY. This means that WE are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. This means that not only do we have a calling, but we are SPECIFICALLY CHOSEN to do God's work in the world. We are chosen love to on the desperate and the needy. We are not only invited to take up our own cross, but like Simon of Cyrene we are chosen to carry the burden of our brothers' and sisters' cross. We are chosen to help them trudge through the darkness, the scorn and the sneering, through the path to death, to find them resurrected with Christ on the other side. But it takes work. It takes action. It takes ministry. It takes LOVE. Then and only then can Real Justice be accomplished.
But being an apostle of Christ is not an easy thing. It takes being on fire for God; being so passionate that you burn for God; being okay with being consumed by the fire- letting it burn away all the old dead and dying limbs so that you can become NEW in Christ.
Like a phoenix! Rising from the ashes! Isn't that cool? We can all be Phoenixes…Phonexi?
Final Response
Let There Be Peace on Earth
This is a song that we sing at the end of every service. It is a promise, a rededication. I will make to effort to renew this vow each and every day, both on the World Race, and in my life.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. Let there be peace on earth, the peach that was meant to be, With God our creator, children all are we. Let us walk with each other in perfect harmony. Let there be peace on earth, let this be the moment now. With every step I take, let this be my solemn vow; to take each moment and live each moment in peace eternally. Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.
Will you make the vow? Will you take the step to BE justice in the world? I pray you will. Because in the end we are reminded that God will either use us, or do his work despite us. And how sad would it be if we were the "despites". Especially when we could be the Phoenixes 🙂
(BTW The Phoenix part wasn't actually a part of the sermon, I just thought of it and knew how awesome it was.)
