I've been struggling the last few days. I have felt helpless; I've had a hard time believing that I actually contribute anything to my team and our ministry; I've been sitting around trying to figure out what to do. It's made me mad, bitter and resentful that God even brought me here. I've been feeling like I'm chasing a God who wasn't there and didn't care.
So, I did what any good Christian would do : I sat alone with God, and I yelled at Him. I got angry with Him. I told Him that He made a mistake and that I would have been just fine being as miserable back home as I was here. Sounds just like a child and servant of God, right? I'm sure I'm the only one who has ever been in this situation.
This was all on Thursday, and at the end of my argument with God I did something absolutely stupid, and incredible at the same time: I challenged God. I demanded of God that if He wanted me here on the World Race, and if He had a plan and purpose for me here, then He had better show up. I demanded that He speak to me, that He shake my world, that He show off. I didn't care how He did it, but I wanted so desperately to know that He was real and was here with me. What happened next was nothing short of amazing: God met my challenge. He showed up and showed off, and even challenged me in the end.
There are two ways (so far) that God has done this: 1) through a Bible study on Isaiah 42, and 2) through an incredible story shared with us by some dear missionary friends of ours about how God has provided in some amazing ways. I want to talk about these things separately and in detail, because they're just so incredible in and of themselves. So, if you have ever found yourself in similar situations, where God has felt so far away, where you were even questioning if He was for real, then I invite you to stick around these next few days as I share with you how God has completely rocked my world, and how He has far exceeded my challenge.
Stay tuned!
