Here I am on this wonderful, truly once in a lifetime journey and I still find myself wishing I had what I left in America.
It’s only been five months but I miss my home. I miss it in a different way than I missed it month one and two. (It’s more like a deep gratitude for what’s at home.)
The only thing worth every pain that’s hit me dead in the face on the Race so far is that I’m closer to understanding Jesus.
Walking with Jesus doesn’t protect you from danger, it doesn’t shield you against hurt or disappointment but it sure gives you a better sense of what to do with it when it hits hard.
I notice I feel jealous, homesick and even angry when I see people posting on Facebook about their life in America.
Expensive gifts, new clothes, cars, hiking adventures, etc. It all looks so glamorous and although I know not everything is as it seems when it’s plastered on social media- I still fall short and I get jealous.
What I have is better, so why doesn’t it feel that way?
Well, that’s just not the right question.
Are you giving yourself grace for falling short?
Are you aware your relationship with Christ doesn’t make you numb to experiencing temptation and selfishness? Are you okay knowing that when you choose to follow Christ you know longer rest in your emotions but you rest in His peace?
Times like these I love how honest I can be with God.
I’m jealous about the wrong things. I’m ungrateful for what I have.
-I give that to you Lord.
A prayer for myself that the Lord continues to strip away worldly desires. That He reminds me of how good it feels to be filled with the Holy Spirit and how rich I am because of those who surround me.
Show me I have all that I need and more. Show me with boldness why I’m in the perfect place.
You do that Lord and I’ll continue to extend grace upon myself when I fall short.
I don’t want my tears to be wasted on the world but to bring revelation and intimacy with you.
A big warm thank you to all those who have kept me in their prayers. I believe they are making a difference in this experience. I believe they are helping prepare my heart for the road ahead.
