As I’m approaching my last week of the most life changing 11 months of my life, I’ve been trying to think big picture. I’ve been trying to grasp the biggest take-aways from this thing so that I can actually apply them to my day to day life back home. Needless to say, there has been quite a few. I’ve learned about different cultures, different types of poverty, about different ways of living and seeing the world. I’ve learned about growth and perseverance when you feel overwhelmed. I’ve learned about leadership and character, about how to steward the influence you have over people for their good. I’ve learned about homesickness and making God your comfort in any situation. These are amazing lessons that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. But there is one thing that I’ve learned about in a way that I’ve never learned before. And I believe it is more important than any of these things.
I’ve learned more about what true, Christlike love looks like. I’ve learned that if you truly want to love with the love of Christ, you need to know that it isn’t an easy feat by any stretch.
Many different things probably come to your mind when you hear the world love. In American culture you can use that word to describe both your feelings toward pretzels.. and your wife. But when someone says they love pretzels, what they usually mean is that they desire them. Desire and love almost become synonymous in our culture in this sense. Unfortunately, this tainted description of love begins to make it’s way into our relationships. We love someone based on what we receive in return. If your spouse doesn’t fulfill your self-centered desires any longer you can just get a divorce. This has become a way of life to so many people. But the love of Christ is profoundly beyond this kind of love. It’s not a love of this world. His love is a love that doesn’t need in return.
The love of Christ is a love that is committed to act for the good of the object of the love. It's not a love dictated by feeling. It's not circumstantial. Jesus' love seeks the good of that which is loved, not matter what.
See, often times in our relationships we love out of need. It’s even promoted in so many love songs. “I need you” or “Without you I can’t live”. I’ve heard it called “Barry White” kind of love. But God never loves out of need.
God loves out of abundance.
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have a perfect love through a perfect Trinitarian fellowship. God didn’t create us because He was lonely. He was and is fully satisfied, sufficient and joyful in Himself. God didn’t create out of some unmet need, but instead he created as an expression of His overflow.
When Jesus walked this earth as a man he showed us not only was loving like this possible, but it was actually evidence that you were his disciple. He became human and led the way for a new kind of love, a heavenly love unseen by the world. He came to usher in a new Kingdom unlike any other Kingdom the ancient world has ever known..
“and the dominant principle of this new Kingdom is love.” – Dallas Willard
Not power through violence, not status, not money.. but love. Jesus brought this new central motive of a kingdom so that heaven could begin here on earth. Everything Jesus did was an expression of love. But how did he do this? How was Jesus able to love so many people, day in and day out. On a good day, on a bad day, through pain and sorrow, through mockery and slander. What kept Jesus going?
I believe that Jesus was so delighted in the love of His Father, that he basked in His affirmation that said, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased” (Luke 3:22). I believe that Jesus was so confident and assured in the Father’s love that nothing anyone did could take that away. Jesus’ love wasn’t dependent on the people he loved. His love was often times taken for granted, not even noticed. Many people never thanked Jesus for feeding them, or healing them, or bringing them the truth of God. But Jesus didn’t need that. He never loved out of need.
“God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him”
This revelation that John Piper brought to the church has changed my life. When I’m satisfied in God, He is most glorified in my life. How? Because when I’m satisfied enough in God I won’t have to gossip to make myself feel better. I don’t have to hold grudges, I can actually start forgiving. I don’t have to worry about elevating myself above others to get recognition because God’s approval is all I need. Jesus lived a life of abundant love because He was so delighted in the Presence of His Heavenly Father every second of every day. And that’s all he needed.
But here is the thing I've learned on this race. We can’t give what we don’t have. We can’t offer Christ-like love to others unless we are filled with the abundant love of the Father. If not, we’ll start loving out of need. If you do something for someone and it isn’t noticed, you cut it off. You love someone but its not reciprocated or appreciated, you’ll never do it again. But Jesus calls us to celebrate in the times when nobody notices your love, because these moments increase your intimacy with the Father. He is the only one that notices, and you can celebrate that.
This race I’ve been learning that loving like Jesus is hard. In fact, without the Holy Spirit’s power in my life it is often times impossible. Loving is inconvenient a lot of the times, but our occupation as disciples of Christ is to learn this new language of his Kingdom. The language of the Kingdom is love.
For months I’ve been trying to practice this everyday, and to be honest in the beginning it was not emotionally satisfying at all. I didn’t want to wash somebody else’s dishes, I didn’t want to stay awake late into the night even when I saw that a teammate really wanted to talk. I didn’t want to pray for that person because it was a little awkward. I didn’t want to go and touch the homeless crippled man because it made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t want to always, in every situation, think of others and prefer them over myself. And to be honest there are still plenty of times a day where I don’t want to do these things. But the more you do it, the more it becomes a natural expression of who you are. Jesus didnt call us to just act like him, but to become like he is so that our most sincere desires are that of his.
Christ-like love is one that is learned. And Christ Himself is the teacher. But that is what a disciple is. In the New Testament a disciple is literally one who is with Jesus and learning to be more like him. So I encourage you to practice love. Do something you wouldn’t naturally do, because our natural tendencies are so self-centered. Make little decision everyday to die to yourself and prefer someone else. Next time you do somebody else’s dish for them.. celebrate. Celebrate because in that moment you get to display and demonstrate what the Kingdom of Christ looks like. And you get to increase your intimacy with the Father.
