I grew a bit discouraged this last week. Coming home, I guess I expected that to happen eventually… the perks of hot showers and cloud-like mattresses and REAL coffee can only satisfy for so long (Hmm. I’d say about 24 hours). I began to grow bored and restless, beginning to realize… the adventure is over.
Or is it?
A few days ago the Lord started stirring and whispering again. Not that He had stopped, I just wasn’t listening very well… But I began to see the glowing hot embers in the hearts of my friends, just waiting for His breath on them to stir up the flame. Seeing those embers rekindled the fire in my own heart. Disillusionment gave way to expectancy.
On Sunday night, my pastor spoke some profound words. He said, “‘Why’ is a dangerous question to ask.
“Why have I been blessed financially? Why has the Lord given me such an amazing family? Why am I married? Or, why am I single?”
His words hit home. His premise was the same that motivated me (in part) to leave comfy Canby 11 months ago: We are blessed to be a blessing.
I began to ask my own dangerous questions once again. I began to think about all of you. I began to wonder what the Lord wants to do with us, His church, HERE and NOW.
One of the huge passions He has put in my heart in the last few months is for the church. At our church in Malaysia, I received one of the hugest burdens to intercede that I have ever experienced in my life. Looking around at the congregation, I saw them petrified in their seats, expecting all the action to happen at the front of the room as they watched. I saw buried, locked-up gifts in each one waiting to be unleashed, yet fear and uncertainty seemed to be the driving forces in the room.
As I look around, I have seen that here as well. I have seen that in myself. I have seen that in the people around me.
More than ever before, I feel so strongly that every single person in the church is bursting with potential to be used in the Kingdom of God! Not just the pastors, the worship leaders, the teachers… the PEOPLE! You. And me. There are gifts inside of you that the Lord is stirring in your spirit, gifts that He is longing to release and set loose into the battle. Yet often we want to deny that there is a battle so that we don’t have to engage in it. But honestly, isn’t there something deep inside of you that is longing, LONGING to see the reality of the Kingdom of God in Portland, Oregon? Something that is ready to dive in, whatever that means and whatever that looks like, cuz you just can’t stand the thought of sitting around any longer when Satan is twisting the truth and claiming victories over lives in our city?
At AIM, they call it a “holy restlessness”. Does that description hit home with you?
I watched the Hobbit this last week and I cannot get this analogy out of my head. Bilbo was completely ordinary. He was destined (or so he thought) to an ordinary hobbit life – living in his cozy hobbit hole, enjoying his meals on time, walking through each ordinary day contentedly because anything out of the ordinary was too unpredictable to be safe. And safety, of course, should always be our primary concern!
But Gandalf saw something different. Something greater than ordinary.
I think that’s what God sees in us. We aren’t qualified. We’re just a bunch of hobbits – what would ever lead us to believe that we could keep company with weathered and battle-scarred dwarves? But the one thing that qualified Bilbo to join in the adventure is the same thing that qualifies us in the Father’s eyes. It’s probably not what you expect because it seems too simple. But listen closely and get this!
Bilbo was willing.
That’s it! He didn’t have to know how to use a sword, or navigate through mountain passages, or anticipate an orc attack. The only thing that qualified him was his willingness to go.
I bet that any hobbit in the Shire could have done just what Bilbo did. Any one of them could have come back with the same stories to tell and the same transformation and awe-inspiring experiences. There was only one thing that kept Gandalf from even bothering to knock at their doors.
He already knew that they would not go.
He knew that they were not willing.
Sometimes I wonder which camp we fall into. And then I remember and rejoice in this knowledge: we are the children of God! We are the sons and the daughters! We are the ones who will raise our hands and shout, “Here am I! Send me!”
I'm starting a new blog, and I invite all of you to continue this journey with me. My heart is that this new blog is not about you just reading my stories any longer. Instead, it’s about us living new stories, today, tomorrow, in the coming year. It’s about us coming together, from every denomination, financial status, marital status, age and gender and walk of life, and asking God “why”. Your “why”s are different from mine. Some of you are married and pouring all your energy and love into your spouse and children and job. Some of you are college students with a passion to see your campus know the Savior and experience His touch. Some of you are retired and investing in profound ways in the lives around you. And then there are those of you who are everywhere in-between. But I believe that all of you are hungry.
So… I want to hear your stories! I want to know what the Lord has been whispering to you. I want to hear of the divine encounter that you had earlier this week or this month.
If you are willing, I would be absolutely thrilled if you would take a few minutes and type out one of your stories today. It doesn’t have to be crazy or super deep or shockingly supernatural, but let it be real. When a story is genuine, that is what makes it profound. This is open to everyone – you have a voice and a unique perspective that needs to be heard! My hope is to publish your stories/thoughts/revelations in my blog over the next few weeks… maybe months, who knows? Right now I believe that the Lord wants to stir the fire within each one of us, and I believe that fresh testimonies of His power and word are one of the best ways to do that! So, email me: [email protected]. Yay!
I’ll plan to keep blogging too! My new address is http://jillschulenberg.wordpress.com/. Subscribe by accessing this link and clicking the "follow" button in the left column! 🙂
Photo credit: Burning coals photo and The Hobbit photo
