Words are a powerful thing. I’m intrigued, drawn to, and terrified by that power.
It’s Wednesday afternoon, and I’m sitting in our living room here in Tanzania with my team, some of us blogging, some journaling with Bibles open, others looking at pictures or recent videos from our ministry. I feel restless. I need to write a blog. I need to write a sermon. I need words. Yet they elude me.
My mind wanders back to ministry a couple days ago…
“Okay, they’re ready for you to preach!”
I was on a walk evangelizing in the village with Jo Linda, Mark, Naomi, and our translator friend Freddy. The first group that Freddy approached was a row of 5 or 6 guys sitting in front of a store. As usual, my heart flip-flopped a bit when he said the familiar words (as if I’d forgotten why we were there). Despite the open invitation to speak, I felt intimidated by the pairs of eyes I found gazing into mine. We asked a few questions about what they knew of Christ, and then Naomi and Mark began to share with them. I felt words burning on my own heart but hesitated to open my mouth. Then Mark finished speaking, and they asked for a song. I swung my guitar off my back and we worshipped together as more people began to gather around.
“Okay, let’s go,” Freddy told us when we finished singing. The burning inside me was still strong, and I asked him if I could speak to the group as well before we left. The words were practically bursting from within me. Freddy gave me the ok and I shared John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (NASB). I told them how Satan is out to steal from us and destroy us, and yet Jesus offers us life and freedom and hope and joy! I explained how we can all have that abundant life, but we must choose to live for Christ and no longer live for ourselves. We must give our lives to Him and He will transform us from the old person into a new creation.
Jo Linda jumped in as I finished sharing, and explained that becoming a Christian doesn’t mean that life will be perfect. As she shared, I felt excitement and amazement at how the Spirit was moving and giving us words. We invited them to accept Christ, and through Freddy’s translation found out that many of them were saying yes! Jo Linda led them in a simple prayer of salvation.
I wonder as I think back if it is really that simple. Did they fully understand the message we gave them? Did each of those guys truly encounter Christ in that moment and are they seeing radical transformation in their lives? On the other hand, even if only one of them truly received that seed, wasn’t it totally worth it? Wasn’t it worth speaking those words rather than holding them inside and letting the fire that the Spirit had lit within me smolder and die?
My new friend!
Jo Linda, me, Freddy, and Mark out on a morning evangelism walk 🙂
Opportunities to speak keep coming. On many occasions, I’m tempted to hold back the words of life that have been given me, or let someone else jump in and fill the silence. Speaking feels like hard work to me, something laborious and exhausting. Words don’t always flow easily. Passion doesn’t always spark in my heart and overflow in verbal language. Sometimes I fear that my words will not be correct or impactful or accomplish the purpose for which I intend them. I am afraid of being misunderstood or judged for the things I say.
And yet this is the place and the opportunity I’ve been given. This is the risk that I’m being invited to take. Perhaps I will fall flat on my face. Or perhaps the Spirit will move and use my words to convict hearts and transform lives! That is a possibility that I don’t want to just toss aside, and an opportunity that I don’t want to miss!
So the question hangs before me, “Will I choose to open my mouth?”
Pastor Agnell's church, where we spend time almost every day worshipping, sharing testimonies, sermons, and words of encouragement
Again and again, God called those to speak who felt most inadequate and least equipped. When God told Moses to go to Pharaoh, his response was, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been and I’m not now, even though You have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled” (Ex. 4:10 NLT). His words make me laugh. I think I know exactly how Moses felt.
Right before his calling, Isaiah exclaimed, “It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Army” (Is. 6:5 NLT). I get it. I too feel unworthy and even question my motives at times when I open my mouth to speak. Often I second-guess whether it is truly God’s words that are on the tip of my tongue, or my own emotions and skewed perceptions that are coming out.
What of Jeremiah’s response to God’s call? “O Sovereign Lord, I can’t speak for You! I’m too young!” (Jer. 1:6 NLT). Hmmm. It is a little weird to think that I have wisdom to offer to people much older than myself, living in a culture that I only begin to understand.
And much to mine as well. I like my excuses. Because in all honesty, it’s easier to be silent. It’s easier to play guitar and sing. It’s easier to smile at the kids and give high fives.
But if His strength is made perfect in my weakness, then I want to ditch “easy”, leap the hurdle, and open my mouth, dog-gone-it! I don’t want to follow the lead of others, come in to gather the spoil after the victory’s already been won, wait nervously in the background hoping that someone else feels inspired. I want to be ready. I want to step out into the place of the unknown and terrifying and see what God will do. In surrendering my life to the Lord, I want to surrender my voice as well, that my words may bring Him the glory He deserves!
The beautiful scenery in our "backyard"
