Preface: I shamelessly stole the title of this blog post from the current sermon series of The Grove, the 20's age and college ministry that I was a part of before coming on the World Race. I recently listened to the podcast and it resonated with me perfectly and where I am right now.
igrove.org (if you're curious)
Thursday was day 3 of ministry and officially 1 week since leaving the United States. I had my initial freak-out moments, but God has already done so much work on my heart. From day 1 after signing up for the World Race, I felt called to go. Looking back, now that I'm in Zambia, I never heard this big booming voice or never saw a vivid picture explaining why God wanted me to leave the States. All that I knew was that I had to come, and I felt that calling down to my very core. I've never thought of myself as one that was good at listening or hearing God calling me, but for the first time in my life, I felt like the calling was undeniable. There was something in me that burned to go on the World Race and I couldn't ignore it.
In the last several weeks leading up to launch, I became more and more anxious about doing ministry work. Don't ask me exactly why, I just felt like I wasn't cut out for it. Even the first night I slept in a tent in Africa, I wondered why I was here and if I had what it takes to actually make a difference. Our first ministry day came and we went out to a local school for mostly orphan kids. We played with them, listened to them sing, and sat with them in their classrooms and helped them with their English. Day 1 down, not bad. Ministry day 2 came. We passed out bibles to students at Evelyn Hone College in Lusaka, visited with them and prayed for them. Much more out of my comfort zone, but things went surprisingly well for me. Day 2 down, not bad. Ministry day 3 came. We followed up with the students at the college that we met the day before. Here's where it all changed: Some students had not received bibles because we ran out, so we returned to bring them their bibles and they were so blown away that we kept our word and came back to visit with them. My teammate Derek were walking around campus and several students stopped us and asked for bibles. Whoa…
So I was all worried about ministry. How would I start conversation with people in Zambia? How would I relate to students? How am I going to do this? And the best part? God brought people that were yearning to me. I didn't even have to look. God is already here preparing hearts… He just needed someone to walk around Evelyn Hone and carry bibles. What's better? I realize again that this trip isn't really about the ministry. God called me here, He wants to change me, He wants to show me the world. How awesome is it that God called me way out here to Africa as an invitation to develop a closer relationship with Him? And fun side note: I get to see the world at the same time!
My fears about ministry were all in my head. I was basing what ministry would look like based on my own abilities and comforts. While listening to The Grove podcast, my pastor and good friend JD Small said one thing in particular that stuck with me today: The call of God on your life is not about how you feel about yourself. It's about an invitation to a relationship that will develop your potential.
