Packing sucks. End of story. I learned that I should pray before packing or else I’ll be upset the rest of the day. For some reason it messes with my spirit. Leaves me feeling inadequate, like a failure or a materialistic person. Even with worship music on in the background, I tend to forget that I can just ask God for help. Ask for His wisdom on how to pack, instead I get all upset and say lots of obscenities and even though my bags get packed, I’m left feeling defeated. I’m learning though. Learning to ask God into the small things, learning that no prayer is too small to pray, and learning that God loves helping me. I’m also learning what not to do while packing, here are a few things:
-constantly text squad mates and leaders that this packing thing cant be done before you even started
-refer packing to a huge exam you haven’t studied for and lay on your bed repeating “I’m going to fail” to no one but yourself
-pack while hungry
-listen to Taylor Swift while packing because you might find yourself yelling “you don’t know anything about trouble Taylor until you try to pack your life into a backpack for 11 months, and keep it under 50 pounds!”
-cuss at everything you try to shove into your pack and tell it it better fit or else
-talk to your pack and expect a response
-get all the way packed only to realize you left a few things out of your packing cube, which happen to be at the bottom of your bag
-try to pack having only slept 4 hours
-think about all the times you’re going to have to repack your bag on the race
-think that you’re not cut out for this whole thing because you can’t pack your bag right, or its over 50 pounds
-stare at your pack like its the devil himself
-text squad mates asking if they dropped the F bomb because you want to make sure you’re normal and not alone
Every single one of the things on this list I did. Yes, even dropped the f bomb a time or two (or 12), but I’m human and still learning. I’ve never done this before. Never packed my bags for a year, said goodbye to everything and everyone I know, and headed out unsure of what the future holds except that I was called to this. I was called to this, God told me to do it, and that’s enough. So with that, and my bags packed, I’m walking out my back door and into this next year of my life God has for me…but the walking starts in 8 days. Until then, I’m driving everywhere.
