I know, it’s been way too long since I’ve written a blog and let you all know what I’ve been up to, but for those of you who are wondering;
No, I’m not dead . . . yet.
Here’s a list of things I’ve survived over the last couple of months overseas:
- Being confronted by a man with a shotgun as I meandered onto his property.
- Coming face to face with a deadly caterpillar – yup, they exist . . . don’t touch.
- Some kind of head-squeezing, skin melting, ridiculous sinus infection.
- The most ridiculous, all laws optional, driving I’ve ever experienced.
- Becoming a team leader.
- Inadvertantly eating maggots – at least the mango they were hiding in tasted amazing!
- A nasty amoeba in my intestines.
- Teammates being infected with e-coli.
- An emergency stop on the way into Honduras so 4 guys on the back of my bus could be dragged off in handcuffs.
- A parasite that kept me on the toilet for over a week.
- A quick trip back to the states for a funeral.
- Fleas – they were attacking me in my sleep. I had bites forming an outline to each piece of clothing I was wearing.
- A flight into and out of the 2nd most deadly airport in the world – Tegucigalpa.
- The rainy season in a tent.
- 5 different trips to the hospital in Guatemala.
- Trying to find my way back to a hostel I didn’t know the name of, in a town I’d never been to, with a language I couldn’t speak, and a friend who was certain we were going the right way – wrong.
- Jumping out the emergency exit of a bus after the driver passed my stop.
- Getting hustled by the taxi company who told me I couldn’t take a bus (for $1.50/person) because they were all on strike. Instead I had to take a taxi ($50/car). Not true. We passed many busses on the way to our destination.
- Using my VERY limited Spanish to teach English to students who spoke only Spanish. Oye!
- Falling from 5 feet off the ground directly onto a teammate’s tent while everyone else was asleep.
- Walking through a patch of stinging nettle with shorts and flip flops on while attempting to secure a picture of an elusive humming bird – bad news.
- Almost losing a teammate when she nonchalantly gave her passport to a surly looking man at the border patrol simply because he asked for it – and that’s how easy it is for someone to be trafficked.
- Fire ants – at one point I had more than 15 bites on one foot alone.
- Attempting to hold a conversation about an hour after I had taken some Ambien to help me sleep.
- Some kind of chest cold that I’ve now had for more than 2 months and am really hoping isn’t turning into pneumonia.
- Walking through a nest of fire ants – they're unforgiving little buggers.
- Insomnia – I slept about 5 nights total during the month of June. I might have to get that checked out.
- Changing the cloth diapers of teenagers who couldn’t talk, walk, dress, or feed themselves.
- Being held at the border between Guatemala and El Salvador for not paying the required entrance fee.
- Sitting at a mother’s day ceremony and having the bench I was sitting on be swallowed up by the ground around it.
- More than 40 hours riding busses between countries in Central America.
- Taco Bell – which the Doctor in Guatemala swears is poison.
- Sompopos – Guatemalan Giant Ants (termites) which come out only once a year, in May, to kick off the start of the rainy season. They are fried in butter and lime juice, and served as a delicacy. I think they taste like spicy popped corn.
- Trying to fall asleep amidst the sweet medley of teeth grinding, snoring, sleep-talking, muffled music, rain falling on a metal roof, dogs barking, trucks breaking, cats meowing, and the zipping and unzipping of tent doors all night long.
- Rushing a teammate to the hospital for an appendectomy.
- 7/9 of our team becoming infected with amoebas.
- An assembly line of undressing, showering, diapering, and dressing the residents of Los Gozosos, a home for children with disabilities.
- Taking the lid off the sugar bowl and having two flies emerge.
- Being glad for the 20 foot concrete walls topped with barbed wire that surrounded me when I heard fireworks and gun shots all night long.
- Scorpions
- Cold Showers when the water worked.
- No electricity for 2 weeks.
- 2 months without a single chair to sit on
- Rice and beans for lunch, beans and rice for dinner every day.
- 0 minutes alone.
- Misusing my Spanish vocabulary and telling a child with disabilities to open her head – as if she wasn’t already confused . . .
- Hitting my head on the rack above the bus seats EVERY time I stood up to get off the bus. I think the average Central American is only 4 feet tall.
- Becoming an unwilling witness to a number of drug deals.
- Watching my flip flop float downstream, twice.
- 40 people sharing 3 toilets that didn’t flush.
- Some very strange meat – the jury is still out on exactly what it was.
- Trying to sleep with the smell of urine all around.
- Spaghetti made with Coca Cola.
- Splitting a plastic stool wide open and crashing to the ground in front of the entire team.
- Mutant ants eating holes through the bottom of my tent.
While I have endured some ridiculous things, this whole trip has been an adventure, which I am privileged to be a part of. No, I’m not dead yet. In fact, I am very much alive. Much more so then when I left the States almost a year ago, and I can’t wait to share with each of you the wonderful stories that have changed my life for the better.
