After 2 days of traveling I was exhausted and melted into a sound sleep immediately upon hitting the bed in my new home in Jaozou, in the Henan Province of China. My sweet slumber was short-lived as I was awakened before 5:30 am by a small Chinese girl who spoke no English but was apparently worried I might be cold, so she brought me a blanket. One more to add to the 4 extras already piled on my bed. I accepted the blanket and rolled back into my pillow in an attempt to prolong my night's rest. I was unaware at that moment that Wen Jao, the little girl standing before me would be the catalyst for much of my CHna experience.
When I finally got up and dressed and went downstairs it was time for the kids to eat lunch. The girls and I dined at their tiny plastic table and chairs with the kids, and as soon as Wen Jao finished her lunch she was up and moving. She ran up behind me and yanked at myt hair and clothes. Before I knew it I heard myself saying, "Gentle, gentle, gentle." I soon realized she couldn't understand me. Apparently I had NOT learned Chinese on the 20 hour train ride the day before. So, I turned around to face her, gently slid my bent fingers down the side of her cheek and whispered, "Gentle." She stopped. Ahhh. She got it. But that was the first of more than 2300 times I would repeat my mantra of gentleness to her.
Wen Jao is a 7 year old little girl who lives in Eagle's Wings, where I spent the month of October. She is ADHD and epileptic. To say she has a lot of energy is an understatement. The staff at Eagle's Wings makes sure she is clothed and fed and gets to school. They are wonderful women, but she is still an orphan. She still has a gapping void in her life. She still wonders everyday if anone will love her. Well, that's what my team and I were there for – to love her.
Through my interactions with Wen Jao, the other children, cab drivers, Chinese culture, the language barrier, my team, the weather, rules, and plenty of other "things," I soon realized that I had just as much to learn about gentleness as Wen Jao. I was reminded on a daily basis just how far I had to go and was always given the opportunity to "practice" waiting patiently, confronting gently, responding gently, holding my tongue in gentleness. And every day I would go home and remind Wen Jao of the same things. After being in China for 3 weeks, I went home one night and was playing on the floor with the kids. One of them got upset, the other one poked him. The atmosphere was heating up when Wen Jao walked over to the boy, stroked his face and said, "Gentle." In English. Yup, that just happened.
And as I observed the kids for the rest of the evening I realized it was not just Wen Jao who had learned this lesson. All of the kids in the house who can speak were using my mantra to help calm one another down. As they helped one another get dressed, as they consoled one another during the day, as they shared their lives together they were now helping and reminding each other to be gentle with one another. I smiled. I felt so proud. I felt in that moment as if I had made an impact. I had taught them something and not only had they learned it, they would continue my mantra long after I was gone. "Gentle."
P.S. I'm still workin on it . . .
