I am not where I expected to be right now.
The plan was the World Race in January. It was work until October, home for 2 months, then off to love the world. What is it they say about man planning and God laughing? Yeah, insert that little wisdom nugget here.
There’s something I haven’t ever written about on this blog that affects my life more than I like to let on to anyone, even those I interact with every single day. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease last summer called Linear IgA. This disease causes my body to produce blisters all over for no real reason other than my immune system is wonky. It’s not dangerous, and doesn’t completely change my life, but it is painful and embarrassing. Things were going pretty well as far as the IgA was concerned. I was on medication and the symptoms were under control.
And then they weren’t. About the same time I made the decision to go on the World Race and give up a year to mission work, it became very clear that the medication I had been on to treat this disease was no longer working. There were sores all over my body that weren’t healing and more coming every day. And eventually I was forced to face the fact that I would not be able to go on this trip if my health didn’t cooperate.
There are a lot of little storylines in my life that all started coming together and pointing to the fact that I needed to make some changes and refocus if this World Race was going to happen. I left my job in Maryland sooner than originally planned and moved back home to Texas to spend time with my family and focus on getting healthy.
“The mind of a man plans His way, but the Lord shows him what to do.” ~Proverbs 16:9
So here I am, in the bed I slept in as a teenager listening to my parents in the other room. I have air conditioning and a bath tub again. I have TV and internet and a grocery store within walking distance. It’s such an adjustment from the life I was living, but it’s so clear to me that I am right where God wants me.
Sometimes,I feel sorry for myself. I beg for healing. I ask why He would give me this opportunity and then take it away. I can get sad and angry if I lose my focus. But the majority of the time, I am really really okay with it. And here’s why:
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Phillipians 4:7
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” – Isiah 26:3
God never works how we expect Him too. He will never fit into our man made plans or our limited ideas of what’s possible or what makes the most sense. Think of Hosea’s wife Gomer, the human representation of God’s people constantly turning from His perfect love. In the Bible, we learn about God placing thorn bushes in her path, hedging her in so she must go the right way – the way that leads back to Him. In the book of Acts, we read about God blocking Paul’s path, not allowing him to travel according to his plans, but to trust completely in God’s plan. Throughout scripture and throughout our lives, God often leads us to a better “yes” with “no.”
So I’m here, resting in God’s perfect peace in the midst of the thorns in my path. I’ve officially deferred to the next World Race route, leaving in August 2016. I will have that much longer to get healthy, to fund raise, to connect with friends and family.
Until Next Time,
Jenn
