We are about a week and half into our month in El Salvador. The ministry here is at a way slower pace than last month. We have learned some skits and songs which we were able to use at a highschool today. We have also gone on a lot of prayer walks throughout different communities.
I’m so used to constantly being on the go. Back home I often worked 2 jobs and “days off” were usually filled with errands, cleaning…ya know…the normal “must be done” stuff. Last month we spent the entire day in ministry, split among 3 different times (check out my post “A day in the life of a Guatemalan Missionary”). Here, In El Salvador, not so much. I’ve spent a lot of time frustrated in feeling as though I wasn’t getting much accomplished. How much can you walk around neighborhoods and pray? And what can you do with all this down time? Did God really send me to another country to just sit? Yes….Yes he did. I may not fully understand my purpose here this month. Maybe it’s the one man I was able to share my testimony with as he cried to us about his drinking problem, the fact that I was able to pray for him and speak life over him the day after my 8 month anniversary of sobriety. Maybe the 20 minutes I spent playing basketball with 3 of the neighborhood boys. Maybe the 2 highschool girls I was able to share in my very broken Spanish that drinking and men will never fill the void in your heart like Christ can. Practicing, Praying, Walking, Resting, Puking.
Yep. Puking. Spilling all my past junk to the 6 woman on my team. Everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it. Maybe that’s part of this month…Having enough down time to puke. Puke, deal and heal. You know that feeling you get before you actually puke? That dread? Trying to hold back? Then during its messy, it hurts, and it’s ugly? You know that friend that’s there holding back your hair, rubbing your back? You know that feeling after….Refreshed maybe? Cleansed? Free? Same goes for sharing “your story”. I dreaded it before hand, running through my head what I should say and what I should avoid saying. Then there it was…all of it….spilling it out to my teammates. They sat with my while I cried through hurt and pain. They listened as I shared every detail where I’ve been. They looked me in the eyes and spoke life into me. They tore down the lies and spoke truth about me. They laid hands on me and prayed for me. After? Refreshed, relieved, renewed. A step into freedom.
Heading into the race I said “I was excited to see what God does IN me, THROUGH me and AROUND me.” This month may look different than last or the next to come but God is definitely doing something IN me and its good…real good. He’s definitely doing something AROUND me because He is working in my teammates as well. He’s also bonding us together. It’s truly amazing! And I know God is working THROUGH me whether I see it right away or not at all. God is awesome, He’s always moving, and always moves with purpose.
