In just 10 short days I’ll be heading to Florida to visit my family and friends for a few weeks before I launch from Ft Lauderdale on January 10th. My head seems to be clouded with lists these past few days. Thinking of loose ends I must tie before I head out, things to pack, shots to get, stuff to purchase. My emotions are a crazy rollercoaster, the ups and downs more intense as each day passes. Along with leaving Georgia comes the dreaded “goodbyes”. My first round came leaving The Gathering the other night…It honestly felt more like I was just saying bye til next week. Not until I pulled away did it really sink in that it will be at least a year before I see them again, and I’m sure not everyone will be here when I return. Its getting to that point at work where I ask everyone if they work the next 4 shifts I do so I know if should say bye or if I can hold out just a little longer. Went to dinner tonight and made sure to make plans before I head out so its just one more goodbye I can postpone. (Guess I procrastinate with everything! Haha) I’m really not a fan of this whole goodbye thing. Especially having no idea where I’ll reside when I return makes the goodbye in GA just that much harder. Then of course I get to spend 3 weeks in Fl which is super exciting! Haven’t seen them in almost a year! But then, its time for more goodbyes. I’m trying hard to focus on the fact that it really isn’t “goodbye” but more so “see you later”. That fact has brought a lot of comfort. See ya’ll later!
Then there is the hardest goodbye that I must face. Goodbye Me. The race is going to change me. Better me really, Like an upgraded Jen. But to say hello to the new Jen, I must say goodbye to the old Jen. Some of these things have started to take place, some will change on the race, some when I return. Some I haven’t even the slightest idea what God has in mind. But here’s the start, here is my goodbye to me……
Dear Jennifer,
I feel as though I don’t know you as well as I’d like. I feel like the lifestyle you have been in hasn’t truly been the lifestyle that is the core of you. You have so much more deep inside that I can’t wait to discover. I can’t wait until you really shine! Currently you are like wearing an old hoodie. Ya know the kind…fits just right, comfy, a few tears and holes, doesn’t really even keep you warm anymore but your comfortable. So you throw it on as you head out the door, out of habit almost. Even though your cold wearing it, its ok cause its comfortable, its what you know. What if I were to tell you there is the brand new hoodie for you? It may be a little big for you, scratchy at first. It may feel awkward and uncomfortable. But I promise it will keep you warm. Go ahead, leave behind your old hoodie, try on this new one. You will grow into it…you’ll discover its better for you than that old beaten hoodie.
Its time to say goodbye to me.
Goodbye to the girl who serves tables and hello to the woman who serves God’s children.
Goodbye to the girl who enjoys getting drunk and hello to the woman who thirsts for His presence.
Goodbye to the girl who felt empty for so long and hello to the woman who is filled with passion, love and joy.
Goodbye to the girl who prays with caution and hello to the woman who prays with conviction.
Goodbye to the girl who was lost and hello to the woman who is redeemed by His love.
Goodbye to the girl who is labeled as “D-bag magnet” and hello to the Proverbs 31 woman.
Goodbye to the girl allows boys to state her value and hello to the woman who proudly says “My man will wait for me”.
Goodbye to the girl who is unaware of her potential and hello to the woman who has purpose in Christ.
Goodbye to the girl who must plan everything in life and hello to the woman who leaves it all in God’s hands.
I know this is scary, its uncomfortable, and its wondering into the unknown. But embrace it Jen! Embrace the woman God wants you to be. The woman God made you to be. I’ll never forget the old Jen. Its her that got you where you are today. You’ve learned, grown, and can relate to those who struggle. Just cause you never wear your old favorite hoodie again doesn’t mean you won’t ever say “Hey, remember that old hoodie I had?!”
Goodbye Me. Hello Me.
