I’ve received a lot of comments on my blog titled “I can’t do this!!!” and have decided to write this blog in response. I’m going to lay my heart out there and share with you my thoughts. Some of you may agree, some may disagree and honestly I’m ok with that. My intensions for this blog (as a whole, not just this specific blog) are solely for the purpose of sharing with you this season of my life and my thoughts that go along with it.
Lets go back, way back…I grew up in a Christian home, went to church 3 times a week. If the doors were open, I was there. I had a great faith in Christ never once did I question him, the bible, his actions or the actions of his followers. Then I hit my early teens my church split. Shortly after so did my family. I don’t believe these 2 events necessarily went hand in hand but they happened around the same time. My parents didn’t get divorced until I was 18 but as I look back I believe the process started in my early teens. My mom and I’s relationship broke around this point as well. My early teens were a very difficult time in my life and that’s pretty much when I put God on the back burner. I’ve always believed in him but now I questioned him and his “followers”
How is it that these supposed “Christians” act all holy at church but when I see them outside of church they are so different? I started to hate “Church” and “hypocritical Christians”. Yes, I believe in God, but I don’t need to go to church to be a Christian. I don’t need to read the Bible to be a Christian. I don’t need to really follow Him to be a Christian. I believe in Him so that’s enough. Religion can be such a turn off. People who are super religious and push and judge ugh. “You can’t do this, you can’t say that, you can’t where this, you can’t act like that.” Who wants to be apart of that???
The Bible…Don’t get me started. Who was it that took the Bible and decided what we should follow and what was just for back in the bible times. Who is this person?? Who says its now ok to cut your hair, eat meat of hoofed animals and bottom feeders? Who was it that says owning a slave and keeping woman “in there place” is not ok anymore? Who is it that says we can now do some rules, but things like homosexuality, killing, and cheating are not allowed? How is it that “Christians” can pick and choose what they want to believe, what is meant from them, what is meant for their “sinner” friends, and what’s meant for the lost. Who chooses all this??
Why the heck would someone want to go to the other side of the world when help is needed next door. Shoot, even in our own homes. Why travel to Thailand to stop human trafficking when Atlanta is one of the largest hubs for human trafficking?
Trust me, if its crossed your mind it probably at some point has crossed mine as well. And my answer to these things? I Don’t Know.
But this is what I Do Know….
I know that after over a decade of having God pushed away, he still welcomed me back with open arms.
I know that God continues to rock my world on a daily basis
I know that I have a passion stronger than I have ever had to help others, to hurt for them, to encourage them, to love them.
I know that God continues to heal me of my past
I know that God has given me Faith, Joy, Peace, Love, Happiness, Strength, Courage and the list goes on.
I know that when I’m struggling I can give him every care and he helps me. Does he always solve the problem? No. But he has a plan and from it I continue to grow and my faith in him continues to be strengthened.
Why would I NOT want to share God with others??? Why would I NOT want to give hope to the hopeless? Why would I NOT want to feed the hungry? Why would I NOT want to love the unlovable?
You say that I’m giving people a false hope of fairy tales…ok, Lets say I am….
Lets say there is no God. Lets say when you die, that’s it. Nothing happens. Lets say this pain and suffering on earth will never get better and you have no chance no matter what you do to have a better life in heaven. Lets say its impossible for the sick to be healed, the blind to see, the deaf to hear. Lets say prayer is just a waste of oxygen. Then I come along and give you hope…hope of this fairy tale God who not only listens to your prayers but answers them. That he heals, he speaks, he provides, he loves you no matter who you are, what you have done or where you came from. That if you believe in him, you will have eternal life in heaven where there is no pain, no suffering. That this life isn’t all that there is. That there is so much more! That even in this sometimes miserable life you are still joyful because you know God loves you, that he will keep you safe, that he makes this life worth living. Well, if God is a fairy tale, and now I have lied to you and gave you a “false hope” and if I’m wrong nothing happens any way then what damage have I done to you? Because I gave you hope I’m wrong? Because now your more joyful I’m wrong because “God is a fairy tale” If nothing happens when you die anyhow, why does it matter if I give you hope while you’re here on earth? Doesn’t seem to me like it would hurt at all…only help.
Now lets say God is real. He is everything I described above he is just that. And the only way to heaven is through Christ alone. What if when you die there really is more. Aren’t you going to wish then that you believed in this “fairy tale” God??
I’ve learned that there is always going to be people that are “overly religious” Thing is Christianity should be about a relationship not a religious act. I realize I’m not to judge others…we all struggle with something in our lives. Maybe these “hypocritical Christians” are just struggling. My mindset has changed from being angry to now praying for them. As far as the Bible, I don’t have the answer to all your questions. I don’t know why some things are kept and some are not. I do understand that over time things are going to change such as slavery and such. That’s “getting with the times”. I do know that I follow the bible to the best of my ability, to the best of my understanding. And all I can do is my part, what I believe, and what I believe God has called me to do. And as far as why travel to another country when I could help here….I believe that God has called me specifically to this. He says in the bible to go to the ends of the earth to share God’s love. I’m just obedient and doing my part as a Christian and what I believe God has called me to. I don’t know why he does the things he does, or calls who he does. All I can do is what I believe he wants for ME. And this blog, this is about MY journey. Some are going to disagree and that’s ok…like I said the purpose is to just share with you this journey.
I’m asking if your interested in this journey, if your supporting me prayerfully and/or financially…to then subscribe to my blog. If your in disagreement with my thoughts or beliefs, I’m sure there are plenty of blogs out there written by people who have the same beliefs you do, perhaps just read theirs. My intentions are not to upset anyone or get anyone angry. I’m not looking to start a debate or to shove Christianity down anyone’s throat. Again, this is for the purpose of sharing my journey.
　
　
