Dear Training Camp, I am not your biggest fan. Thank you for forcing me to see through the lens of uncomfortableness and the messy side of life.
I walked into training camp not knowing one thing about it. I did not envision that it would be a super difficult thing or super uncomfortable, but I did not read any blogs about it. The only thing I read was the packing list. I am a no schedule, no set plan kind of gal. Therefore, not having any clue of what I was stepping into was right up my alley. I came with minimal to no expectations or so I thought. Broken unexpected expectations. hmm…
What I was not expecting was it to be super cold and rainy in the middle of October in the South. I was not expecting to take bucket showers (Ain’t nobody clean after a bucket shower). I was not expecting rain to drip on my face at 430 am and then have 55 people wake up and start talking about how wet they were from the rain. I was not expecting to pretend I was an in an airport and sleeping on the floor with lights on and airplane noises. I also was not expecting to really learn much more about myself or grow any more than I already have in the past two years. I was not expecting to see myself in a different light.
All of those things happened. God showed up. I saw so many of my weaknesses and so many of my strengths. I learned more about myself with each random thing that we did than I have in forever. I figured out what gives me anxiety and how I handle situations when I am super uncomfortable. I will not lie, there were definitely times where I was thinking: “What. Is. Happening.”
So with that being said, It was hard. Most things in life are. I was more uncomfortable in those ten days than I have been most of my life. I was hungry, tired, and wet from the rain and a leaky tent. My basic needs were on the verge of not really being met. I replaced my hunger for food with prayer for strength to make it through the day because I was HONGRY.
However,
we are called to be pushed out of our comfort zone because that is what brings us to the foot of the cross. That is what brings us to true dependence on Him. That is why I fully believe bad things happen, because being uncomfortable forces us to realize we cannot do anything without Him. We cannot be strong without Him, but everything is possible with Christ who strengthens us. We were stripped of our daily comforts which brings me to my big take away: People can take anything away from us. We can go without for a while, but nobody can take away your ability to pray or just be a child of God. Being a child of God is not earned or worked for. You do not have to do anything or say anything. You just have to be you. And for that, I am thankful.
