Disconnected.

 

Alone, separated and unsure of where i’m at

will I ever feel like i’m the one at bat?

will i always be one step behind the Lord?

looking to my peers I see their eagerness, the fight in their sword.

I’m on the cusp of something exciting, something great

but knowing i can’t be in control keeps me from feeling like the head of my own state

 

raising support, asking for prayers, telling my story… i’m relying on him

leaving my home, my family, my friends….the significance of this change puts me on the brim  

ready to jump?  ready to leap?  i’d love to say I am

but honestly there are days i just don’t give a….hoot

 

my daily conversations with the father are what keep me going

he tells me how proud he is of me and that he is reaping what i’m sowing

not so I can see the fruit of my labor but so that he can be glorified

when i see him exalted, I remember that it’s not about how hard i’ve tried

it’s all about him, his love, his son, his cross, his sacrifice

the rest are just blessings…the daal, the curry, the rice

 

At the end of the day, my pitty party takes a back seat

because im blessed to be able to say im never alone in this feat

thankfully, i don’t have to be in control

his abundant love and unfailing strength are written within my soul

 

made new by his grace, I can take on the world!

I am supported by him, his spirit and his word.  

When the days come to tear me down

ill pick up my shield and remember that i’ve already been found

 

i was saved and forgiven, now i’m confident and not lost

his provision for my life was paid for with a high cost

there is no one i’d rather have in charge

so i’ll stand here, ready and sitting on this barge.

 

Staring out at the waters.

Alive.

Connected.