The 6th night of training camp cradled hope in its starry skies – most every racer was eager to be in the presence of our God – anticipating the Holy Spirit to crash down upon them like waves in the sea. So we dove into the evening, starting with worship. I love worship! Music has always been a passion of mine and it is one of the ways I can easily enter into praise of my Heavenly Father. It never gets old.
On this particular night, the worship-set happened to be all songs I knew well and played on a regular basis. So obviously I was excited I knew the words! I could fully enter into a time of worship that wasn’t hindered by having to read words off a screen. SCORE!
Halfway through the worship-set, the band opens-up a time of prayer – prayer for our squad-mates, teammates, and anyone that God was directing us to pray for. So with music playing quietly in the background, I begin to pray for direction…God, who needs prayer? Who do you need to uplift tonight? I pray You would place that person in my sight, with words to speak over him/her.
As I finished praying that silent prayer, I opened my eyes to see a girl from my squad standing in front of me…a girl I had not really even spoken to before or connected with. Really, God?! I know nothing about this girl except her name…what in the world am I supposed to say to her?! You’re crazy! So I closed my eyes again, hoping for someone different to be placed in front of me…preferably someone I knew better; someone I was comfortable with. At this point, I’m seriously doubting God’s ability to speak through me to someone I didn’t know. God please give me someone different…a familiar face, one that won’t be disappointed if I fail …
Fear
10 seconds later, I opened my eyes again only to see the same girl in front of me…haha. Ok God, clearly You placed her in front of me for a reason – give me the words she needs to hear.
I continue to stare at her – slightly nervous that God had made a mistake, because my mind was blank. To my hearts delight though, God followed through! Before I realized what was happening, my mouth was speaking words of encouragement to this woman – words that weren’t even registering in my mind…they just flowed from my mouth before I could think about what I was saying! I understood what was coming from my mouth, but I knew it wasn’t from me because I literally had no time to think about what to say – the words just flooded from my mouth with incredible ease! And once again, this girl’s expression went from fear to peace in seconds…a smile emerging on her face, tears forming in her eyes and the burden of what held her down lifted from her shoulders.
Freedom had entered her soul and a laugh sprung from her mouth.
Beauty radiated from her – a gift from the Holy Spirit at work in her heart.
I’m kinda in shock and sheer amazement at how God continues to use me in this particular way. This has never happened before until this week came about – pretty cool how God chooses to use His children when they seek and obey Him wholeheartedly. In that moment, I am feeling blessed beyond belief that God had chosen me to speak into the life of this girl…then it slowly dawns on me…my voice has power – not by my own might, but by the Holy Spirits’. Cool!
This happened a few more times that evening – where God would use me to speak into others – and I was feeling extraordinarily blessed to be chosen to do such a thing! As I was experiencing this overwhelming feeling of love from my Father, sparks of longing ignited within my heart…a longing for more of my Abba Father in every way possible! An incredible aching feeling that only God, himself could satisfy. Crying out to Him was all I could do – and I found myself breathlessly grasping for more.
In that moment, a quiet voice washed over me saying, “Patience, my child…one thing at a time – you can only handle so much. I am preparing you…but while I’m preparing you, patience is your best friend.”And I just stood there…mauling those words over in my head, weighing the option of disregarding or accepting them. Of course, after maybe 5 seconds, I accepted them and waited in anticipation for what God was going to do that evening.
The love I have for my Heavenly Father far outweighs any thought of disobeying Him. My heart was meant to love Him with every heartbeat. From each beat, a staggering desire to obey is birthed. If all I had to do was be patient that was easy!
And the battle to succeed instantly began.
It’s funny really. When you set your mind to being patient about something, the temptations of anxiousness are elevated beyond belief – Satan tries to get a foothold so you will put down your sword and give in. But the beauty of heightened anxiousness is that God still knows how to soothe it – to put your soul at peace – like a stream gently flowing….it still has direction, energy, and life, yet it renders a delightful peace. That is how I felt – God gave me direction: be patient. He gave me energy: anticipation. And He gave me life: His powerful voice speaking through me. With all those things stored in my heart, a magnificent peace had enveloped me.
And all I could do was smile because I knew Satan had NO grip over my life. He was completely powerless. #Winning.
The band began leading worship again – prayer-time continued for some, but most of us were worshipping in our own special ways now. Before I started singing again, I had this fierce urge to gaze about the room…so I did. And God gave me a picture: each and every child in this room was ready for battle – an army emerging over the hills of a broken, sinful world; swords lifted high. Each person in this room was being filled with a boldness that was unbreakable – Satan was being defeated before my eyes as hearts were given up to Christ, overflowing with His love!
An unmistakable and oh so precious gift.
All I could do was laugh with pure joy at the power of our God. Satan had no chance…not when he was up against our all-powerful Heavenly Father – for He is the pinnacle of strength and has overcome this world. And this verse instantly ran through my head: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”John 16:33.
Satan has already lost. #ForeverWinning.
Fear immediately left my heart. There was no point in harboring fear when winning was a guaranteed factor. The weight of anxiety lifted and peace filled its place. If I had wings, I would literally be flying right now. I felt so light, so free, so ready for anything – my sword had just been sharpened and I was prepared to fight to the death for my God.
And I dance – freely dance for joy at the loveliness of our God at work in my own heart. This must be what God was preparing my heart for…this beautiful picture of His kids fighting in His Name – fighting with love and truth…wow, being patient was TOTALLY worth it! Thanks God for sticking with me!
There’s no place I would rather be than in His love.
I want to be lost in His loveliness forever.
