Blogs. In my entire life, all eighteen long years, I never believed I’d write a single one of these silly things. Yet here I am today, trying to put a profound thought onto my personal, public blog site. Yikes, who would’ve seen this coming? Surely not me.
God does these sorts of things, He takes your life and topples it upside down on you. Little things, big things, things that you know are gonna turn, and most definitely things you don’t imagine could ever change in a million years… and it’s hard.
Since my freshman year of high school, I had my future planned. I knew I was going to college, I knew my top 5 colleges, and I knew exactly what I was majoring in. I had my summer job lined up in my sights to push my future career along, and I knew what high school classes were going to look the best when I applied. I even had my college soccer career planned out. I knew what players would be leaving when I hopped on and which jersey numbers and positions would be available for me fill. I had no intentions of wandering out of the country other than to simply explore or study abroad. After it seemed like high school would never end, I rounded the corner into the final stretch: senior. year. Everything looked great! I passed my senior project a year early and had the easiest, most fun classes planned for the final four. I was set to cruise across the stage, take a couple pictures with my diploma in hand, and settle into a pretty dorm with some neat people. All I had to do was apply (easy peasy) and I was in, my ACT scores made sure of that.
That’s where God flipped me over like a pancake. I sat down to fill in my information for all of my gorgeous colleges, from Montreat to George Fox, CCU to Gordon, JBU! I was so into it, filling out my information, telling them all of the reasons why I belonged at their school, who I was, what I believed… but I couldn’t finish a single one. Weeks dragged by and turned to months as I sat and stared at the computer screen, trying to force my fingers to type or push send. I couldn’t believe it, after all of my planning and hard work, I had no desire to turn them in. Isn’t that the path God wanted me on though? Outdoor Ministry was my dream! Why couldn’t I do it?
My parents put the pressure on once they realized I hadn’t turned anything in. Woops! I guess in my need to please them, I popped open the site to The World Race after my boyfriend and I had been chatting about it and leisurely began the process of applying AKA procrastinating. Hmm, I became interested. I guess I could go for it. I mean, I want to go on an adventure [in missions]! The next thing I know, after contemplating not doing either and becoming an EMT, I’ve been accepted into the Gap Year program and I’ve paid my first $140 to secure my spot. This is it! This… this is it?
THIS IS IT.
Now without any plans, preparation, or knowledge of what I’m stepping into, I’m about to head out for nine months relying solely on God. I’m nervous, I’m struggling to get the fundraising ball rolling, I’m fighting to take the reins from God, I am basically the biggest wreck I’ve ever been… and I couldn’t possibly be happier.
God’s plan for our lives is so much bigger than what we have for ourselves. My piece of advice for you as well as myself is to expect big things from Him! You won’t be disappointed. So go ahead, take a leap of faith!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
