How to describe training camp? Hmmm….. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Yep, that feels about right! (thank you, Charles Dickens) In my more sober moments of reflection, however, I’ve come to a more measured (though distinctly less human) sentiment, that it was good, but hard. REALLY hard. I’ve found myself saying this phrase quite often this past week as I’ve recounted our time at Training Camp.
As you might expect, training camp was a very exciting time for us. We very quickly adjusted to the primitive camp lifestyle (tents, strange foods, less technology, less privacy, more bugs, and a less frequent bathing schedule) that is indicative of what we should expect for much of our time abroad. Chrislyn and I are always talking about spending more time outdoors, so it looks like we will get what we asked for! It was such a joy to finally meet the people that we will be living life with this next year as we travel and serve all over the world. Our anticipation couldn’t help but grow as we learned more about what this next year will look like and what adventures lie ahead. It was encouraging to hear the heart of our leadership as they shared the vision they have for God’s work both in and through our lives. All of these things were exciting, enjoyable, and more or less, expected.
What we didn’t expect, were the many tears that were shed (yes, even by myself) and the many things whose loss we found ourselves mourning. You see, with every new thought towards the future and all that lies ahead, it became more and more apparent that we would be leaving much behind. I’m speaking not of the obvious comforts of convenience, familiarity, or security, but rather of the relationships and the people here that we’ve grown to love. God has truly blessed us over the past few years with a community of Christ followers, brothers and sisters that have loved us well and challenged us to grow. We have family and friends that have been with us through highs and lows, supporting us all the way. We are going to miss this greatly. And while we will do our best to correspond and attempt to still share life from afar, things will not be the same. The truth is, we feel that God is asking us to be willing to let go of even the comfort that comes in these relationships and to rely more on Him. There’s a prayer that I’ve always admired and that is as relevant now as it ever was in my life. “Lord, help me to hold loosely to the things of this world, so that it will hurt less when you have to pry them from my hands.”
So you see, as much as I might have been inclined to give you the ol’, “‘Bad’ news first, ‘good’ news second,” about camp, I just couldn’t do it. The good and the bad are all muddled together. I’m coming to see that the year ahead is going to be full of difficulty, struggle, and challenge. More importantly, I’m coming to see that this is not a bad thing. The things in life that we value as good, may be the very things that God will ask us to release. And the things that we often view as “bad” or “loss” are often the very best things for us and the only path to something greater. Painful, though it is, I know that my God is good and that He loves me as his son. It is through these hard things and “fires” that God refines us and makes us more like Him. God does not call us to a life of ease or comfort, but to something far greater and much more worthwhile.
“Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25
