Two months ago I felt like giving up on the Race.
It was turning out to be a whole lot harder than I ever thought it would be.
I didn't know how I was going to make it 6 more months.
I was tired of building beautiful relationships just to have to say goodbye.
I was tired of expectations and hopes I'd had falling to pieces as a different reality replaced them.
I was tired of Facebook replacing face to face conversations.
Tired of loving when it didn't feel good, or when it wasn't reciprocated.
I was tired. Very very tired.
I wanted things to be easy.
And they weren't.
And it made me want to quit because I didn't really trust my Father in the midst of the mess. I wanted an easy way out.
But my teammate gave me a word from the Lord that has become a staple in my walk of faith. She simply wrote Trust on a little slip of paper and left it on my pillow one day.
And for almost the entire month I wrote that word on the arch of my foot every morning. A reminder to walk in trust in the good times and bad because in all things He is good and He is Trustworthy.
My Father is worthy of my trust.
He loves me and has good plans for me. He proved that love by the Cross of Calvary. What more do I need? And even though He doesn't promise it will always be easy, He does promise that He will never leave me. He also promises that it's worth it.
My Protector. My Defender. My Salvation. My Best Friend. My Healer. My Comforter. My King. My God.
Proverbs 3:5~ "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight."
It's been two months since He first spoke this word to me and since then He has impressed it deeper and deeper into the center of my heart.
Now when I don't understand, when things all seem to be going wrong, when people don't like me, when I fail, when I feel like I can't go on, I don't lose hope because I trust Him and where He is leading me.
And it has been a beautiful exchange. As I've submitted, He has led me into incredible new depths of His love, new unity on my team, beautiful new relationships in each country, and so many other blessings that have far outweighed the struggle. I'm learning that there are things worth fighting for that are worth the mess. That's what real love is. It isn't easy. But it's worth it.
So if you are in that place where you don't know how to keep going. Don't lose hope. Trust Him. He is so trustworthy and so good, you cannot even imagine. My prayer is that you understand the depth of Gods love for us. Once we know His love, the only response is to trust. He is so so worthy to be trusted. He loves us SO much.
God Bless!
Michelle
