There have been days where I’ve been so utterly drained and empty, and days where my joy is a fountain and peace is a river. I could do without the drained bit.. but some circumstances just place themselves in your lap and you must press on. I’ve been learning, desiring, the ability to refresh in the moment, but you know, I don’t know that God has given us that ability.
One thing I am sure of is that the more I learn about my limits, the more I appreciate the ability of others and of God. The more I learn and accept parts of myself, the more freedom I have to understand God and the relationship we share.
For instance, as I found myself drained one day, a teammate offended me by not doing a duty I thought appropriate for the needs of our group. We spent the day in bitterness, I was counting her sins against her, counting myself wronged, and focusing my lack of energy or refreshment onto her – my lack of joy and peace was her fault. Oh, please tell me you understand these feelings.
We talked them over, too late by a mile, and found peace. We found peace not in one another’s apologies and understandings (though healthy to mention) but by realizing that I was never her enemy, she was never my enemy!
We had spent the day failing to recognize the truth that we were fighting a spiritual battle. We remembered, and reminded one another that our battles are not against flesh and blood, but against powers, principalities, and rulers of the spiritual realm.
This is something I hope to keep in mind whenever I find myself drained, needing a break. Whenever I feel as though others are working against me.
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