Have you ever looked around during worship?
Either you don't know the song or you're just not into it and your eyes start to wander. First your caught off guard by the dude in the back jumping around, flailing about like he just won a million dollars. Then you are struck by curiousity when you look around and see that there are a few hands raised, lots of people swaying, even more people standing still..some people not standing, not even looking up – just sitting.
My church isn't the only one like that…right?
I grew up doing that..looking around, feeling uncomfortable while other people were raising their hands or sitting down or anything out of the ordinary. When I say ordinary, I mean anything other than standing, clapping when prompted, maybe a little swaying. At training camp, one of our speakers made a joke that rang so true!!! He said something along the lines of, "At my home church we lowered the ceiling fans to make sure no one did any of that." He was referring to raising hands and dancing and "getting into it".
I laughed so hard – because it was absolutely accurate.
Is that a Nazarene thing?
I'd always struggled with the unintended peer pressure. Either I felt like I shouldn't raise my hand because it would distract others, or I felt like I shouldn't be standing still because others might think I was ungrateful or I didn't love God enough. The keyword in all of this is "others". My life revolved around the idea of people pleasing and keeping the peace. For me it didn't stop at worship, this people pleasing mentality controlled most aspects of my life. (BUT THATS FOR ANOTHER BLOG)
Here's the thing, Jesus didn't people please. Jesus didn't look around before he did things. Jesus didn't try to impress anyone. He sure as hell never tiptoed around anyones feelings, either. I don't remember him ever making sure his actions didn't make anyone uncomfortable. I feel like that's probably not how WE should live, either.
One Week at Training Camp Freed Me
One day during worship (at TC) it hit me. All of these people are experiencing the same thing seperately and differently. Who AM I to judge what they are feeling or how they are worshipping? God sees us and knows us and is aware of our every thought.
He knows.
He's the only one who matters.
He is the one who gets to interpret this worship. Some people were sitting outside of the pavilion, silently. Some people were jumping around, directing traffic like a rentacop at a concert. Some people simply placed their hands out in front of them waiting to receive whatever God had for them. Then there was me, violently shaking and crying at the intensity of the moment. If anyone has ever watched me worship they know that my legs start going first, then it works its way up to my head and my whole body just shakes. I'm sure it must look bizarre to anyone else, but it doesn't matter.
God sees it and knows it's his.
A couple Sundays ago, at the Church I grew up in, we were worshipping and I wasn't worried about what anyone around me was up to. It was incredible. I had never felt that freedom at church. I was enjoying this newfound freedom when a small strained voice caught my attention. To my right stood my grandma who was gettin' all sorts of blessed. This sweet lady threw her hands up and yelled at the top of her lungs to her father and when that wasn't enough she started running..
My 78 year old Grandmother was running around the sanctuary, (As you can imagine a normal 78 year old run). It blessed so many people. God used her to confirm this newfound freedom I was enjoying. I've never witnessed my grandma run before and to be fair it was more of a Moderate March. But you woulda thought she was on her way to deliver the best news she'd ever gotten or she was about to deliver a whoopin', either one. Because she was just Shouting and Laughing like a child would.
It was absolutely beautiful and I could not be more greatful for this wonderful example in my life.
MORAL OF THE STORY: We all worship and experience God differently. Instead of feeling uncomfortable while someone else is being overcome with the spirit, we should rejoice in the fact that the Spirit is present and real. Never assume someone that is acting differently than you, is more or less spiritual. We weren't put here to compare. And last but not least, Embrace those who are worshipping with abandon and do not hinder them, you have no idea how long it may have taken for them to get to that point.
10 years,
21 years
….78 years?
You never know.
