Cambodia! Month 10…although it started out kind of rough, it turned out to be one of my favorite months!
My team was stationed in Phnom Penh this month and we were working at an orphanage. The enemy tried real hard to get me, as well as my team, to not like the orphanage. I recovered from pneumonia the first few days, and nothing in me wanted to go love on the kids. I had nothing to pour out. I was so ashamed that I would rather lie in bed and watch pointless movies on the tv and bask in the amazing air conditioning than be with the kids. I tried to cover up my heart and “act” like I wanted to be there, but eventually I couldn’t pretend anymore. I was being fake and I am not a fake person. The enemy whispered lies to me like: “This is month 10 and you haven’t learned to love? What a waste.” “You should be closer to the ‘finished product’ since there’s only one month left.” “You are such a selfish person; nothing has truly changed in you.” Yuck. I was hearing all that and almost believed the little punk. However, over these last 11 months, God has taught me the importance of being honest with Him and with others. So, I exposed the depths of my heart to Him, even though He already knows them, and I got real. I admitted that I needed His love and that I couldn’t even love an orphan who was abandoned on the street with my own strength or heart. I repented and asked Him to change my heart and to fill it with His compassion, his Love, and His Grace. The ugly truth was exposed. In a matter of days, my heart was so full. I was bubbling up with more love for these kids than anyone I had encountered on the race, or even in my life. By the grace of God, I withstood my flesh, and His Spirit took over and gave me one of the most memorable months yet!
This is just a glimpse 😀
I… began reading the Bible with the intent of discovering the depths of the Lord’s heart and to get to know His character and personality
Watched more movies than any other month because we had a tv in our room!
Went to the killing fields and a prison that was turned into a museum remembering those killed during Pol Pot’s regime
Went to two different hospitals in one day before 10 am: one teammate gashed her finger with a knife and the other one was deathly ill
Taught the kids songs like: R-E-S-P-E-C-T and Where is the Love by the Black Eyed Peas to go along with my Bible lessons. They got a kick out of me rapping and singing, and so did my teammates. I promise you it was a valid addition to my lesson 🙂
We ate lunch and dinner at the orphanage every day. YUM. Among my favorites were French fries, pumpkin mush stuff, fish, and veggies
Our feedback was interrupted one night by a knock on the door…we opened it and the owner of the guest house brought her two little boys in just to hangout and it ended up being a dance party… EPIC and random and glorious
My favorite thing was being at the orphanage and watching the boys come home from school in their uniforms on their bikes. I teared up sometimes, not gonna lie. They are precious
God awakened my spiritual gift of empathy and removing people’s burdens. Hard to explain. I’ll tell you about it if you want to know more, but it happened three times in about an hour. He is doin something big folks
My favorite lesson I taught was about the children’s careers. They told me their dreams, I prophesied into them, and then we prayed for the person on our left and right…we prayed that 1) our dreams would come true, and 2) that our dreams would line up with God’s dreams for us. POWERFUL
We surprised the kids with pizza and coke one night. Most of them had never had it. Then we had a HUGE dance party. One of my favorite nights on the race for sure
Visited a village where four of the kids were from. Took naps on the table, acted out the prodigal son, and went to the houses to spread love while receiving gifts in the form of food: specifically rice cake things made with either beans or bananas…they weren’t my favorite
I learned what it takes to fight for friendship in the midst of pain, awkwardness, and change. I was a hot mess that day, but nothing should prevent you from fighting for those you love and care about. Be the one to lay down your pride and expose your heart to people, it’s worth it, and it is how the kingdom works
We raised money with some of your help and took the ENTIRE orphanage to the beach for an overnight trip. We played in the water all day and then celebrated two of their birthdays. On the way there, the kids were throwing up in the bus, and the driver wouldn’t stop, so we would pass the throw up bag back to the back of the bus, and then just simply toss them out the window. Gross I know, but we did what we had to do
I got sick with a bacterial infection and ended up staying with another team near the beach for a few days. Completely unexpected. I had to miss out on going to the waterfall with the kids and I cried, a lot, because I just wanted to be with them and see their faces when they saw the waterfall
I got back to the orphanage and they had made me a welcome back sign. It was precious. They all ran up to me and gave me the biggest hugs ever. Then two of the kids didn’t get to go to the beach, so we took them to the touristy side of town near the river and got them pizza and ice cream. It was during the time where thousands would go and pay respect to the king who had just passed away…so we joined the crowd and seconds later a monsoon hit and all of us were DRENCHED from head to toe. I held hands with the older boy, sokong, and we danced and splashed in the dirty streets while we tried to run and escape the rain. AMAZING night. We prayed that it would be unforgettable for the kids, and it turned out to be a great adventure for sure
On the last day, one of the kids got sent home because he had been stealing things for a while…I said goodbye to him and cried. Then we had a prayer service, we all worshipped together, and ended with a dance party before we started the horrible goodbye process. It was the longest goodbye ever. Everyone was crying.
After the month ended, our squad flew to Pangkor Island in Malaysia for a mini debrief. On the way over, I experienced a super heavy spiritual attack on the plane that lasted the entire day. It really affected me and it drew me in to even deeper dependency and trust in the Lord. When we got there, I had two choices, I could either sit in my room and be afraid and question everything, or I could trust my Father and enjoy my time on the beach. Thank you Lord, by your Grace, I chose the second one! It was beautiful, relaxing, and enjoyable. Although I still don’t have many answers, I know my God, and I am trusting and not leaning on my own understanding. Based on what I know about Him, He is good, He is my comforter and protector, and He will reveal things in His perfect time. In the meantime, I believe He wants me to enjoy life!
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Attention! Out of all the countries, I feel the strongest desire to go back to Cambodia. Those kids have my heart. God put it on my heart to take them to the beach again, and that is what I plan on doing. I don’t feel like I am supposed to go live there or anything, but to just provide them with love and joy in a tangible way. So, right now, I am hoping to go back at least once each year, and take them all back to the beach! Simple as that 🙂 . I will start fundraising for that trip in the next few months I believe. It’s all up to Him, but I know I will go back, because He told me! So, if you would like to be a part of that at some point or other, let me know!
Shout ouuuuuut!
This goes out to Cherrondalayyy. Thank you for being such a steady and dependable friend. I am so excited for you and where God is/will be taking you. He is lining things up for you because of the discipline and focus that you have had these past few years. I am so blessed by you. I will be seeing you soooon missy! Love you!
