Hello all,
It’s Marin writing this time. As the trip is getting closer it’s becoming more and more real. Brady and I are in full swing making preparations to leave. We have so much to figure out still, but we know it will all come together. On this Easter Sunday, I just wanted to share with you a few of my thoughts on “Growing”.
First, things that grow in Marin’s world.
- My pile of laundry seems to magically grow by the hour.
- The weeds in my flower bed grow like there’s no tomorrow (which I guess could be true for them up here in frigid MN).
- My cat grows, mostly around his waistline now…
- My hair grows. And I let it grow for months and months and months until I can’t stand it any longer. Then, I cut a drastic amount off, regret it terribly, vow not to cut it for over a year, then repeat the process.
All of that kind of growth seems effortless.
The last three and a half years have been full of growth for me, but not the effortless kind. The growth I’ve been doing has been a slow growth, and it’s often been painful. It’s been a peeling back of my heart, layer by layer. God’s been working in me revealing my weaknesses and insecurities and giving me opportunities to grow in various ways. I’m realizing now that the ways I’ve been changing and growing haven’t been random or haphazard, they’ve been preparing me for this mission trip and what lies ahead afterward.
I hope the following reflections on my growth process can help you along the way as well.
Like when planting a garden, I think the first part of growing is knowing what you need. For example, if you have a perennial rhubarb plant, you probably won’t need to plant another rhubarb. For me, that’s meant knowing what strengths I already have and realizing where my weaknesses lie. Being married, my weaknesses have been revealed in an inescapable way. Since marrying Brady, I’ve had to work through lots of issues, big and small, with God’s help. I’m glad to have a partner who is willing to help cultivate me instead of pulling me out by my roots. While it hasn’t always been pleasant to see my faults, weaknesses, and insecurities, it’s a huge gift to have them revealed. Now I know what I need to weed out and what I need to sow.
I think the second part of growing involves planting ourselves in good places. I’ve learned that who you spend time with and what you’re filling your head and heart with MATTER. I’ve learned that like plants need water and oxygen and good soil, I need God’s word and community to truly thrive. Without it, I cannot be the thing I was truly created to be. I starve and wither.
I think the third part of growing is pruning. No, not the juice, but just as unpleasant. It’s the cutting off and cutting out parts of me that just aren’t bearing fruit. I’ve had lots of things that I love spending time on, but they don’t help me or others, so I’ve had to let them go. At first, it hurts to cut them out, but then it allows me to spend more time and energy in other places in more meaningful ways. Seeing things bloom in those places where there previously was nothing, is simply magnificent.
The last part of growing is simply being and embracing the changes of growth. It’s allowing myself to be me. At the same time it’s also surrendering to the master gardener, allowing Him to uproot, transplant, and modify me at will, trusting that He’s not trying to kill me off.
Most of the time, I take the opportunity to grow, knowing that it will be costly and take some effort. But sometimes the prospect of growth has been too scary and painful. I hope that in your journey, you embrace growth, despite the pain. I hope that despite the sweat and toil, you can look at the fruit you are producing and say, “Change was worth it”. I hope that in your growth, you learn more about the loving and caring nature of our master gardener. I’m eager to grow even more over the next year and a half and hope that you will join me in my journey.
